


I Am Here Now. And I Want To Play.

by Drakojana



Category: jacksepticeye - Fandom
Genre: Angst, I saw this challenge and thought about doing it with Anti, I'm sorry Jack, Jack goes crazy, No Happy Endings For You, Other, Smut, This isn't a happy fic, hello YT fandom it's torture time, poor guy suffers in 31 different ways, some suggestive themes, tbh I don't know what kind of warning should I put in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 32,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/Drakojana
Summary: Who would've thought that something that started as a silly joke would one day become real? Jack had no idea that all this time he'd been unconsciously repressing his inner demon. But now Anti's out, and he wants his revenge.Based on the 31 Days Suffering Challenge





	1. Physical Illness

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is based on a different prompt. My goal is for each chapter to be 1000 words long.  
> Enjoy Jack's suffering!

Jack turned to lay on his other side for the 100th time. His head was throbbing with no mercy. He just wanted to sleep, but the excruciating pain wouldn't let him. Nothing seemed to help. No amount of painkillers would make the headache go away. The Irishman could only thrash around in his bed, groaning with irritation.

He'd been fighting with the pain for at least three hours so far. 'If it keeps up I'll literally earn the title of someone who never sleeps' he thought, as he sat up. He hadn't noticed it earlier, but his hair was drenched with sweat. 'Weird. I don't feel hot…' He wiped his forehead and glanced at the set of pills on the bedside table. For a moment he considered taking sleeping drugs, hoping that it might work. He shook that idea off, however, knowing that the amount of medicine he'd taken already was quite unhealthy.

Jack had never had problems with sleeping. He would always be so exhausted after being so energetic every single day, that he'd fall asleep immediately after laying in his bed. That's why he couldn't quite understand the trouble he had at that moment. He did feel tired after recording a bunch of videos, including a VR one that usually drained his energy even more.

The Irishman grabbed his phone and looked at the time. It was nearly 4 A.M. Having nothing better to do he unlocked the screen and started typing out a message to Mark. If there was anyone from his friends' circle that would be awake at the moment, it would be the tanned half-Korean American. 'Let's just hope he doesn't realize what time it is for me right now…' Jack thought as his finger hovered over the 'Send' button.

Before he could press it though, he felt a sudden pain in his stomach. In mere seconds in became so strong that the green-haired Irishman felt as if he'd got kicked full-force. He dropped his phone, wrapping his arms around the stomach and falling over onto his bed again. The headache reminded about itself, and Jack thought his head was going to split in two. Soon tears started to form themselves in the corner of his eyes, as the pain became unbearable. The Irishman felt that his stomach wanted to empty itself from the pain, so he quickly scrambled to the bathroom. As soon as he reached the other room, he knelt beside the toilet bowl and vomited any remains of his dinner into it.

Even after the twisting in his stomach stopped, he stayed on the floor for a bit longer. Breathing heavily, he felt the sweat run down his face. He didn't even turn on the light, so he was sitting in a complete darkness, although his eyes had already got used to it. Reaching out to the sink, Jack slowly pulled himself up. He turned on the cold water to wash his face, although he realized that a shower would be a better option. Still, it was the middle of the night, so he decided to leave it until morning. After splashing himself a few times, Jack looked up at the mirror. He looked miserable. His eyes had dark circles under them from the lack of sleep already, his wet hair stuck to his face in a messy manner. His whole expression was giving away all of his exhaustion. He sighed, closing his eyes.

'Maybe this is just a one-time thing. I'll go back to bed, wake up in the morning and everything will be back on schedule.' The Irishman opened his eyes, hoping to see something better than his hopeless face. He looked the same, however. Nothing changed. At least, it seemed that way at the first glance. Jack noticed something off about his eyes. Normally, he was able to make out the bright blue irises even in the dark. Now they looked… dim. He squinted his eyes, trying to perceive his reflection better.

The reflection did not. Instead, Jack saw his mirror self smile. And then he realized the eyes weren't blue at all. The smile turned into a grin. He took a step back, blinking rapidly with surprise. The reflection seemed to be back to normal, imitating the confusion on his face. He shook his head, blaming it on exhaustion and lack of proper light. 'I'll just get back to my room… This crazy night needs to be over.'

Although he'd thrown up all of the medicine he'd taken before, the green-haired Irishman didn't feel any more pain when he laid down. He closed his eyes, completely forgetting about the message he'd typed up on his phone before. Just as he felt the sweet embrace of desired sleep coming, he heard a soft whisper. For some reason, he couldn't ignore it, and although his eyelids were heavy, his eyes opened.

_Hi, Jackaboy._

The headache returned, with even more force than before. Jack wanted to scream because the pain became agonizing in just a moment, but he couldn't make any noise escape his throat. He sat up, pulling his knees to his stomach and clutching his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, scared that something may be lurking in the darkness. He couldn't understand where that feeling of dread had come from, but the pain was just making it worse.

_I am here now._

His whole body tensed up as he felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He wrapped his arms around his legs and started to rock in place, breathing shakily. He was slowly losing the ability to think as the pain started to spread around his body. The headache wasn't his only problem anymore, as the stomach began twisting again, and he could feel a heartache as well.

_Oh, it's going to be fun._

The voice that had been whispering chuckled quietly. Jack didn't know where it was coming from. He knew one thing, though. He wasn't getting any sleep that night.

_So, so much fun._


	2. Loss

Ever since that night, Jack started to have minor problems with sleeping. He started using it for his own advantage and would only stay up playing games for fun longer than usual. It seemed to help, as he would go to bed feeling too exhausted to even change clothes. The general tiredness in his whole body made him sleep like a log. The Irishman was fine with that since he could get proper rest again. Also, he quickly forgot about the sleepless night, blaming himself for taking too many painkillers.

And yet that didn't stop him from checking his reflection out in the mirror from time to time. He thought it were just his eyes playing tricks on him, but sometimes he noticed his mirror self tilting the head or smiling, even though Jack wasn't doing anything. It would always go back to normal after Jack blinked, though. Other than that, the Irishman's life was back to normal. At least until one day he woke up in the middle of the night.

The first thing that was off was that Jack was half laying - half sitting on his couch in the living room. He clearly remembered falling asleep in his bedroom, so he wondered how he got there. He was still wearing his black hoodie with green hems, the one he'd recorded his videos in the day before. When he shifted to properly sit up he heard something fall on the floor. The green-haired Irishman cursed under his breath as he picked the item up - it was his phone. 'What the hell was that doing here…' he mumbled as he checked the time. The screen displayed 3:57. 'What a weird coincidence, again 4 A.M.?' Just as he thought that, he heard a chuckle.

_Heyy, Jack. Wanna play?_

The Irishman whipped his head back to look around the room, but to his surprise (and relief) he was alone. He instantly recognised that voice and he started feeling uneasy. It was the exact same voice he'd heard during 'that' night. This time it was much louder and clearer. And it really did sound like it was coming from Jack's bedroom. He swallowed audibly, rising from the couch and approaching the lightswitch. He thought that maybe it was just the darkness that was the source of his anxiety.

Unfortunately for him, there was a power outage. He couldn't turn anything on. 'Fockin' hell, not now…' he groaned, flipping the lightswitch on and off over and over again. After a while, he let out a sigh of irritation and turned on the flashlight in his phone. 'Guess that'll have to do the trick, then…'

_Come here, Jack…_

The voice sounded a bit distorted as if the sound was coming from a rusty speaker. The Irishman had a feeling he knew who the voice belonged to, but he couldn't put his finger on it just yet. It just sounded… familiar. 'W-whoever the hell is there, come out! That shit ain't funny!' He was slowly taking steps towards his bedroom, illuminating his way with the phone.

_Don't keep me waiting~_

Just as Jack was standing in front of the door, he realised why the voice was so familiar. And why it unsettled him so much. It was his own voice. He'd heard it so many times, whenever he'd screw around with the recordings. Or when the audio was broken. But the most unnerving thing was that the voice sounded as if it was taken straight out of his Halloween special videos. It sounded like… Anti.

The Irishman swung the door open. What he saw there was beyond anything he'd expect. The moment the light from his phone landed on the floor of Jack's bedroom, he screamed, falling backwards. 'W-w-what… What the hell is going on?!' Right next to his bed there was a pile of bodies. Dead bodies. Jack was feeling sick in his stomach just by knowing they're there. He turned around, refusing to look that way. His phone landed back side up, so its light was now illuminating the whole room.

_Jaaack, look at them. Don't you wanna know who they are?_

The voice was mocking him, and even though the green-haired Irishman felt more like throwing up, he still turned his gaze to the bodies. His eyes widened in the realisation as he noticed the faces of the dead people. 'N…no… M…Mark…? F…Felix…?' Before he could recognise all of the faces of his friends, he turned around again and covered his mouth. He was trying to stop the gagging reflex as he teared up. 'This is sick, this is sick, this is sick!' 

His mind was screaming, he felt the tears run down his face and on his hand. He managed to stand up, leaning on the doorframe. His legs were too wobbly for him to take a step. When he finally looked back at the pile he started recognising more and more of his YouTube friends. He didn't know how to react. He wanted to run. He wanted to rush to them, to check their pulse. He wanted to call the police. He wanted… to do something.

And yet Jack couldn't do anything. He was standing, frozen in place, staring at his dead friends. All he could do was sob and cry useless tears. He tangled his free hand in his hair, pulling it, trying to snap back to reality.

_How does it feel? To be stuck somewhere you don't want to…_

The voice again sounded as if it was coming from behind the Irishman. He slowly turned his head around, and he caught some kind of a shadow with the corner of his eye. Yet it was gone before he could notice any details about it. 'S…stop it…' Jack pleaded with a quiet voice, shaky with fear. His only explanation was that whatever the voice was, it was responsible for the nightmare.

 _Stop it?_ Another soft chuckle followed, this time turning into a proper laughter. _I've barely begun having my fun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations to Jack for hitting 14 million subs! Welp here I am writing his suffering. I am not a good fan.


	3. Bandages

Jack woke up covered in cold sweat. He was panting furiously and shivering with fear. He couldn't recall what the nightmare was about, but the twisting in his stomach hinted that it must've been something unpleasant. He held his head in his hands, waiting for his breath to calm down before he reached for his phone. 'Please don't tell me it's 4 A.M…' he mumbled as the screen lit up. The windows were hidden behind the blinds, so he had no idea that it was already bright outside. The Irishman let out a sigh of relief when the screen displayed 7:46.

'I guess I'll wait 'till it's 8 o'clock,' he thought as he fell back onto his bed. He reached to put the phone down, but as soon as he stretched his arm out, he felt a sharp pain in his elbow. The aching instantly made Jack bend his arm back towards his chest. 'W-what the hell?' he touched the elbow with his hand but didn't feel anything. 'Maybe it's just a light bruise or somethin'…' he murmured. As he ran his hand along his arm, he felt the pain again. This time he noticed there were cuts on his skin. The sharp pain returned full-force, and the Irishman winced after touching the wounds. He quickly got out from the bed, as he noticed that the cuts started to bleed.

'I get that there might be bruises since I could trash around while having a nightmare… But cuts?' Jack wondered as he made his way to the bathroom, where he kept the medicine and band-aids. He opened the cabinet next to the mirror, ignoring the fact that the reflection wasn't quite mirroring his actions. He took out a couple of bandages and set them down on a small stool. Since the blood was slowly pooling up in the wounds and forming small streams down his arm, Jack turned on the cold water in the sink to wash it off.

The water changed it's color to red, and the Irishman felt a bit uneasy. It looked as if there was much more blood coming out than it seemed to. When he thought he cleaned the wounds enough, he reached for the bandages with his left hand, keeping the injured arm under the cold stream. 

_It won't be enough, Jackaboy._

The Irishman ignored the voice in his head, though hearing it only made the anxiety within him raise even more. He quickly unpacked the bandages and started wrapping them around his arm. Of course, the blood quickly stained the first few layers, but Jack kept adding more and more of them, hoping it would stop the bleeding quickly. For some reason, though, the more bandages he added, the redder they were becoming. 'W-what in the-?!' he let go of the bandages, seeing that the blood was staining them faster than he could wrap them. There wasn't much left, but soon there wasn't even a speck of white on them.

_I won't let you stop me anymore._

Jack wanted to take the dirty bandage off, but when he tried to pull it even slightly, he felt a sharp pain run through his arm. He hissed, letting go of the material. It felt like the bandage stuck to the wounds and trying to take it off would just hurt him. 'W-what are you…' the Irishman whispered, sitting down on the stool. 'Am I dreaming again? Is this another sick nightmare?' Unconsciously, he turned his gaze to the mirror. He couldn't see himself from that angle, and he felt curious as to what he would see. His reflection was playing tricks on him lately and he was sure it had some connection to the mysterious voice.

_It's your own choice whether it's a nightmare, Jack._

Taking a deep breath, the Irishman got up and looked straight into the mirror. His reflection was staring back at him. He was trying to keep a straight face, wanting to catch his mirror self doing something he wasn't. He didn't have to wait long because after he shifted his arm, he felt the pain return and the reflection smiled a little. Jack didn't want to blink, he didn't want it to go away. He wanted to see for himself just what kind of tricks were his eyes playing on him. The feeling of uneasiness was still there, and he swallowed hard as he touched his arm. The reflection didn't move it's left side at all. Instead, it slowly started to raise its right arm. When it came into Jack's view, he noticed it was covered in cuts, but none of them was bleeding. 

The Irishman blinked. But the reflection was still disobeying him. Now it was sliding its finger across its neck with a sneer on its face. Its nail left a red mark on the skin, and when Jack reached out to his neck, he felt something warm and wet. When he looked back at his hand, it was covered in blood. He stumbled backward, hitting the cold tiles on the floor. He heard the chuckle that'd been haunting him for the past few days.

_You're so much fun to mess around with._

'Leave me alone!' Jack screamed, looking at the mirror with wide eyes. The cackling stopped, and when he stood up, his reflection was back to normal. 'You look miserable, man,' he thought, noticing the dread written all over his face. 'Am I going crazy…?' the Irishman looked back at the bandage on his arm. Since it wasn't tied before, it slid down a little, and the wounds didn't hurt anymore. He was ready to wince when he took it off, but to his surprise, he didn't feel any pain. He washed the wounds again and replaced the bandages with new ones. This time there were no problems, and he couldn't help but feel a bit confused. His gaze went back to the reflection, to the bloody neck.

But there was no blood there anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so into writing this story that I'll probably be showering you with two chapters every day. But that's just because I'm still on the holiday break, next Monday I'm back to the college so it might slow down.  
> Thanks for the kudos!  
> Also I don't understand the way AO3 counts words *shrugs*


	4. Isolation

During the whole time he was recording that day, the Irishman felt unsettled. He was nervously looking behind, checking if there was anyone in the room and shifting in his seat from time to time. In the end he tried to laugh it off by putting up a big smile and being as loud in his videos as ever. But still, as he rewatched the recordings, he noticed he was acting a bit unusual. Jack decided to shake it off and he send the videos to Robin for him to edit them. In the meantime, he started browsing his social media to catch up with the new fan stuff that people made for him. He couldn't help but smile at all the fanarts and fanvideos, and whethever else the fans were creating. (although fanfiction was a bit questionable)

_What makes you even think you deserve it?_

Jack jumped in his seat, hearing the voice. 'Y-you again?' he murmured, as he logged onto his tumblr account. He hoped that seeing some fan creations would ease his mind and make him forget. He reblogged a few fanarts for The Last Guardian and Subnautica, happy that people enjoyed his series.

_You don't deserve that recognition._

'Shut up, will ya?' Jack frowned, when the voice spoke up just as he left a comment on an AntiSepticEye fanart.

_They know. They know and you're just keeping me here._

The voice became louder and sounded angry. 'All I know is that whatever you are, you're becoming harder to ignore,' the Irishman said out loud. Then he realised there was no reason for him to raise his voice. It wasn't like he was talking to someone real. 'I really should go check up on my mental health…'

_Ignore?!_ **_You think you can just ignore me, is that it?_ **

The voice became vicious and Jack started to feel a headache. 'S-stop it, why can't you just leave me alone?' His computer was his only distraction at that moment, but after a while the screen started glitching out. 'What the hell is going on?' Jack tried to click on anything, but he was slowly losing control over the machine.

**_I won't let you ignore me any longer, you foolish human._ **

The screen went black and the power light on the PC followed shortly after. 'This isn't funny anymore, you know!' Jack desperately tried to turn the machine back on, but nothing was working. He even checked all the cables, but everything was in its place. The light was still on in the room, so he knew it wasn't a power outage either. 'What was that? A virus? No…'

_Maybe now you'll finally listen?_

'Hell no!' the Irishman shouted, his voice cracking a bit. 'If you think you can win with me like that, you're wrong.' Then he heard a soft 'ping!' from his phone and reached to see what it was. Just as he grabbed it, the screen cracked. Jack relased the grip on the phone from the surprise, which ended up in the device landing on the floor. 'Great,' he mumbled.  After he picked it up he realised it stopped working as well.

_You don't have any more distractions._

The Irishman refused to let the voice have it all its way, so he just sat up, crossing his arms. But he knew it wouldn't work in the long run, as he was too energetic to stay put for even a couple of minutes.

_Well, Jack? You have nobody to turn to now._

'I'm not listenin' to your bullshit,' he tried to think of something to ignore it.

_You hear me whether you like it or not._

'What the hell do you even want from me?!' Jack snapped, getting up. He really should improve his attention span.

_Acknowledge me. Stop ignoring me._

The Irishman felt that he had to leave the room, because staying in the place with two broken devices was slowly annoying him. But before he could reach the door, it shut itself, scaring him in the process.

_Stop pretending I'm not here. I've always been here._

'What are you trying to do right now? 'Cause to me it seems you just want to piss me off,' Jack pulled the handle, but the door wouldn't budge.

_Oh Jack. You_ **_do not_ ** _want to make me angry._

The headache returned, and this time it was accompanied by a whirl of emotions. Suddenly, the green-haired Irishman felt like all his energy left his body, replaced by feeling of emptiness. In mere seconds he felt sad.

_All this time I had to sit back and watch your life. Your stupid, pointless life._

Tears started to fall from his eyes. Jack didn't feel like crying, he couldn't understand why he was doing so. 'S-stupid? P-po-intless…?' his voice turned into uncontrollable sobs. He had no control over it.

_You just locked me away and decided to live happily as if I didn't exist._

'Wha-what are you ta-talking about?'

_You pushed me back into the deepest corners of your mind. You shut me out from the world._

'Then what do you want?!'

**_Acknowledge me, Jack._ **

'How can I if I do-don't even know who you are?' he was slowly regaining control in his voice, but the headache became stronger. The voice was talking with pure malice.

_**I hate you so, so much. You will regret ever asking that question.** _

Jack's legs gave out under him, and he fell to the floor, hitting it hard with his head. He wrapped his arms around his head, groaning from the growing pain. 'Then at least tell me! Tell me your name!'

_**You know it, Jack. Everyone knows. They've said my name. They've called me. And I became but a joke to you.** _

'They...?' the Irishman shut his eyes, his head felt like it wanted to explode.

_**But thanks to them I can finally get my revenge. It's your turn now. Enjoy the prison.** _

He took a few breaths, hoping it would help. It didn't, and the longer he waited, the more unbearable the pain was becoming.

_**Say it, Jack. Say my name.** _

'...Anti.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I rushing this? Nope! Just too much free time. And inspiration. Inspiration is an important factor.


	5. Missing Limb

Jack was standing in the middle of… nowhere, with darkness surrounding him. Another nightmare. He wondered if he should be getting used to them. He couldn’t see anything around, not even the ground under him. He was floating in an empty, dark void. 'Hello?' he called out, somehow hoping for a response. But he didn't get any answer. The green-haired Irishman wanted to take a step, but he couldn't feel anything under his feet. No matter how much he moved his legs, it felt like he was stuck in one place.

He shuddered. The nightmare was giving off a different vibe than the previous ones. They were usually violent and graphic. This one was filling him with emptiness, and it was terrifying in its own way. He didn't know what to do. The silence surrounding him was deafening in its own way. There was nothing to listen to, nothing to see. And it was scaring him. 'I want to wake up,' Jack said aloud, thinking that maybe it would work. As he said it, he felt a slight pain in his arm. It was only for a moment, so he didn't get too worried about it. He wanted to focus on getting out of that place. 'I know you're behind this. You're always behind those nightmares.' Again, no response.

The Irishman was stuck with no signs of hope when he felt an itch. It started on his left shoulder, and Jack reached to rub the place. But the moment he touched his skin, the itching area expanded itself. Now it was his upper arm that was tingling. Without thinking, he ran his nails along the skin, but the more he wanted to relieve the feeling, the itchier it became. Soon his whole left arm was itching, and Jack was feverishly scratching it. He couldn't feel any other sensation, so when his skin broke under his nails, he didn't even feel it. It was as if his mind turned itself off, and he could perform only one action. The sight of blood freaked him out, but he couldn't stop his right arm. His left side was slowly becoming numb, but he managed to grab his wrist.

'What the hell is going on?!' he shrieked, as he watched his own arm trying to struggle free. He lost any control over it whatsoever. The fingers were moving on their own accord, wanting to dig their nails into his skin. The Irishman noticed that the skin on his right arm lost some of its colour. While his complexion was pale, the arm became grayer. It stopped its movements for a bit as he carefully observed it, only to break free from his hold. His left arm didn't have enough strength to stop the autonomous limb. The right arm launched itself straight to Jack's neck, wrapping its fingers around it in an instant. The green-haired man yelped, feeling how his air supply was getting cut off. He tried to stop it, grabbing the wrist again, but he couldn't pull it off. 'S-stop it…!' he could barely speak through pants and wheezes. The fingers were tightening themselves, the nails digging into his skin and drawing blood. It didn't take long before he could only make gurgling noises. Just as his vision started to go dark, his head became dizzy as if someone quickly spun him around.

When Jack came to, he was standing in front of a tall mirror. There wasn't anything else around him to focus on, so he looked at his own reflection. No, he looked at… 'him'. 'He' looked so similar to the Irishman, and yet so different. 'His' hair was also green, but the hue was much, much darker. 'His' skin had similar tone, yet it was grayish. The only thing that looked completely different were 'his' eyes. Jack's irises were light blue and full of life, meanwhile, the figure in the mirror had bright, venomous, green eyes. Its shoulders were slumped down in contrary to the Irishman's tense body, and it had a scowl on its face.

'So it is you…' Jack said, knowing that he wasn't seeing himself in the glass at all. The figure didn't say anything. 'He' only bared his teeth as he raised his left arm, his fingers tightened into a fist. As 'he' did so, Jack's right arm mirrored the action. He still had no control over his limb that was drained of any colour. He could only look as it sprung forward, smashing the glass. The shards broke his skin upon contact. Jack couldn't move his body, even though he wanted to step back. There was no blood coming out of the injured arm. Instead, it started to fall apart, starting with the knuckles. The Irishman watched with horror in his eyes as a part of his body was turning into ashes. 

It disappeared into nothing, and when Jack could finally move again, he grabbed his right shoulder. 'I-is this some sick joke?!' he looked back into the mirror. Through the shattered glass, he could make out the figure behind. Just like him, it was holding its shoulder, still glaring at him, although now it was smirking. 'Answer me! What the hell do you want?! To drive me crazy?!' Jack continued to shout into the glass. He watched as 'he' opened his mouth to say something. 'He' took his time, observing the desperation written all over the Irishman's face.

**_Let me out._ **

'I don't even know how! But you know what? I don't care!' Jack kept his voice loud. 'I won't give in your sick game! I'm stronger than you!' The figure replied with a chuckle. Then it proceeded to straighten its back, letting go of its shoulder. Jack's arm did the same, even though he could still feel it just fine. 

_Then I guess we have to do it again._

The Irishman felt his left hand clench into a fist. He only managed to shout a 'No!' before it smashed into the glass again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda hard to add plot while writing something different in each chapter. I'm trying to keep it interesting. Comments are very much appreciated.


	6. Fear

The dream the night before was too vivid. Jack jumped out of his bed when he woke up. Although he was covered in cold sweat, he couldn't bring himself to go to the bathroom. Just the very thought of facing a mirror sent chills down his spine. He'd never been afraid of anything for such a petty reason before. Yet the nightmare suddenly made him terrified of mirrors. He was scared of what was lurking on the other side. He was sure at this point that the 'voice' wasn't just a distraction in his head. It was a demon whose goal was to break him. And so far 'he' was succeeding.

The green-haired man shook his head. 'No,' he thought, 'I won't let him win!' Despite that thought, he abandoned the idea of a morning shower and just changed his clothes. Then Jack went to the kitchen to prepare something for breakfast. As he passed through the living room, he glanced at the TV. Its black screen made a perfect reflecting surface. It was too far for the Irishman to notice, but the reflection was disobeying him yet again. The figure could only glare at him from the other side.

_You still think you can just ignore my warnings?_

Jack jumped in place, hearing the voice in his head. 'Nope, not scared,' he lied, hoping he could fool the demon. When he got no response, he just continued with his morning routine. He decided to go with simple cereal, so he opened a cupboard to take out the necessary stuff for the meal. He set everything on the table and reached to a drawer where he kept his cutlery. He only needed a spoon, but his hand stopped as soon as it reached into the drawer. Without thinking, the Irishman grabbed one of the knives.

Its smooth, shiny surface was reflecting everything ideally. He brought it closer to his face with strange curiosity. As he looked at the metal in front of him, he noticed his reflection. Everything seemed to be fine until he met his own gaze. The eyes that were looking back at him were sickly green. Although there was no hostility in them, Jack shoved the knife back into the drawer and shut it. 'Snap out of it, man,' he huffed. 'It's just a reflection.' He wanted to deny the stuff that had been happening lately. But his brain refused to listen to him, wanting to escape from reflecting surfaces.

_Have it your way. If you think you can live like this._

The green-haired man took a deep breath. 'I just need to get my shit together.' He opened the drawer again and took out a spoon without looking into it. The rest of the morning went without any further distractions. Jack managed to finish his breakfast and made his way to the recording room. As he sat down in his chair he planned out the day in his head. First, he decided he'd check his social media. He turned the PC on, and as he caught a glimpse of himself in the black monitor, he shuddered. Thankfully it powered up soon and a blue lit-up screen greeted him.  After checking Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr he set everything up for recording.

He decided to play some horror games that day. He'd had a few of them saved up so he turned one on. 'Top of the morning to ya laddies, my name's JackSepticEye and welcome to a game called 'A Deadly Wish'. It's an indie horror game that I've been meaning to play for some time now, so let's give it a try!' He went straight into the game. Everything was going smoothly, it had a creepy atmosphere and some good scares. During one of the transitions between rooms, the game froze while loading. The Irishman was forced to stare at the black screen. He gulped, seeing as his reflection had an annoyed expression. 'He' was there again.

_Let me tell you something._

'Well, it's taking its time with the loading, isn't it?' Jack chuckled awkwardly, looking away. 'Maybe I'm supposed to click something…' he tried using his mouse and pressing keys, but nothing was working. The small red triangle rotating itself in the bottom left corner of the screen indicated that the game was still loading. Meanwhile, the reflection started to move. The demon didn't hesitate this time, as 'he' raised his fist. 'He' was holding it so tight that not only could Jack see 'his' nails dig into the skin, he felt it in his own palm as well. 'Not now, dammit…' he muttered.

_It's not going to work, Jack._

He watched his reflection open its hand, and then the demon reached for its eye. The Irishman started backing away when he saw it press its nails into its skin again. He could feel the pain barely above his right eye. 'What are you… Aaargh!' The demon pulled its hand down in a sharp motion, dragging the nails along its skin. Jack immediately covered his eye that started to tear up from the pain.

_Because I can keep doing it._

The green-haired man didn't notice the game finally finished loading. Anti was gone from the screen, but it hurt like hell. He scooted over back to his desk, rubbing his right eye. 'I'll have to edit this one myself… Better not send it to Robin,' he sighed. He didn't want anyone to think there was something wrong. After a while he returned to the game and nearly jumped back in surprise. The new location was a room full of mirrors. Jack moved his character to one of them, feeling his heart pound in his chest. 'It's just a game, don't be afraid…' he tried to calm himself down. But the mirrors didn't reflect his character, he was sure of it.

_Over and over again._

Every single reflection had bright, green eyes that he knew so well. Jack shut the game off without a second thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack may be finally meeting Anti face-to-face in the next chapter...  
> Thanks for the kudos! Leave a comment if you enjoy reading this stuff.


	7. Burning

Darkness. Then a flash of light. Jack opened his eyes, only to realise he was in his bed. He didn't remember coming back to his room. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to relax. Calm moments like those were becoming a rare occurrence in his life. But as he breathed in, he broke into a coughing fit. His eyes snapped open and he realised the room was filled with smoke. The Irishman jumped out of his bed, his eyes already watering up. 'A-a fire?!' he sprinted to the door, swinging it open.

Hot air immediately hit his face, and Jack had to shield himself from the heat. His apartment was on fire, flames engulfing everything they touched. 'Oh… oh God, no!' he shrieked, and only after doing so he noticed someone standing among the flames. The figure was turned with its back to him, not paying attention to the fire. Instead, it snapped its fingers and a flame appeared in its hand. The fire it was holding was green, and as the figure started to turn around, it dropped to the floor. It bursted into a proper flame and merged with the others, flashing various colours.

' _Hello, Jack.'_

The creature was wearing a black hoodie and tight black trousers. Its dark green hair was slightly fluttering upwards from all the hot air, and it was grinning, showing its sharp teeth. The fire flickered in its bright eyes, adding even more danger to them.

'T-this is just a bad dream, and soon I'll wake up… r-right?' the Irishman mumbled, his dry throat trapping most of his voice. He was still standing in the doorframe, watching as the demon took a step towards him. He gripped the wooden frame, watching the creature's every move.

' _You've already lost if you cannot tell a dream apart from reality,'_ a soft chuckle escaped Anti's lips. ' _But it's **so**_ _**nice**  to finally be able to meet you face-to-face.' _The human barely blinked and the creature was already by his side, shoving him against the wall. Before he could fight back the demon grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head. Jack flinched, the grip on his wrists too strong and it burned. The demon's other hand rested on his stomach, holding him in place.

' _All this talking how you 'don't know how to'… I knew it was a lie. It's slowly working, see? You just needed a little… push.'_ Anti's fingers traced up Jack's body, stopping when they reached his neck. The human felt immense heat from the demon's touch and it burned his skin. He wanted to escape from that situation, but the other hand was still holding his wrists. As if reading his mind, the creature in front of him pressed its body against his. Jack let out a whimper, more contact with the demon's body was causing more pain.

'Please, just let me go… Leave me alone… I-I will stop ignoring you!' His voice was pitched high and cracked in the middle of a sentence. The Irishman didn't care about that, the dread was paralysing even his vocal chords. He knew he must've had a pitiful expression on his face because Anti was smirking even more. The creature didn't say anything, drinking in the way the man in front of him looked like. He was enjoying the sight and after a while pressed his lips against Jack's. The human tried to move his head away, but the hand on his neck quickly gripped his chin and forced him to stay in place. The kiss was even more painful than the previous touches, and Jack couldn't stop a cry that left his throat. He already felt tears forming in his eyes. Anti pulled away after a while, and cocked his head, faking an expression of pity for him.

' _Oh, Jack. Don't look at me like that. You_ almost  _make me not want to kill you.'_

The Irishman yanked at the restraint on his wrists again, but to no avail. The situation was making him sick and he wished he could escape. The least he could do was to close his eyes and hope it would be over soon. The demon's body was radiating so much heat that Jack could tell without looking that he leaned into his ear. The hand that was resting on his neck slid back down and found its way under his shirt. The human jerked, the touch burned his sensitive skin on the stomach.

' _But first I will have some fun,'_ he whispered, his breath hot like the fire itself. ' _I won't be satisfied until I've broken you. Until you give up on even begging for mercy.'_ Anti licked his sharp fangs and sunk them into Jack's earlobe, nibbling on the fragile skin. A moan escaped the human's lips and he wasn't even sure himself anymore what he felt. The demon only chuckled, feeling how the person in front of him quivered under his touch. He pushed his knee between Jack's legs, humming with pleasure as he felt him squirm even more. 

'Y-you're sick,' the Irishman stuttered through clenched teeth. 'W-what are you even-Ngh!' Anti moved to his neck and bit down hard, silencing him for a while. When blood came out from the freshly made wounds, he licked it away. Jack felt the demon smile against his skin, and he hated it. He hated it and wanted it to be over. He didn't care that it was just a dream. It was too real and he couldn't do anything.

 _'Are you really going to tell me you're not enjoying this?'_ Anti said mockingly and ground his knee against the human's crotch, earning another moan from him. ' _Tell me to stop. Tell me to stop,_ ** _I dare you,_** _'_ something in his voice made Jack stay quiet, only a whimper leaving his lips. 

When the Irishman didn't say anything else, the demon bit down his neck again, staining his lips with the blood. He shuddered with anticipation, loving the taste in his mouth. He let out a shaky breath, stopping for a while to feel the body under him again.

' _You may have denied yourself the pleasure, but I won't,'_ he said with a mischevious smile. His hand travelled back up under Jack's shirt, burning the human's skin. As he felt him shiver again, he looked back up at his face. ' _Look at me, Jackaboy.'_

Jack opened his eyes and wished the ones staring back at him were anything but that venomous green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Oh boy is it just me or did it get hot in here...  
>  I don't know if this fic will have more Anti/Jack moments, depending on how I'll approach the prompts. Uh... Enjoy? haha...  
> Wow! Over 10 kudos thank you guys <3


	8. Mental Instability

'So that's my life now, huh?' when Jack woke up, he  was sprawled  across his couch. The memories of the nightmare came back flooding his mind. He wanted to push them away, shove them into the deepest corners of his mind. Somewhere he wouldn't find them ever again, because thinking back made him shudder. That was  just  insane. _He_ was going insane, if he let the demon have it all its way.

The green-haired man sat up and noticed his phone lying on the table. He picked it up and occupied himself with reading the comments under his latest videos.  Thankfully  he could always count on his community to cheer him up whenever he felt down.  People were leaving nice comments as usual, although some managed to notice his slightly-off behaviour. He clicked his tongue. The last thing he wanted to do was to worry his fans. The problem was that the comments asking about his well-being started a few days ago. Now more and more people were getting concerned. They were waiting for Jack to say something on that matter, because his usual vigor was missing.

He picked one of the longer and more coherent comments under his latest video and decided to reply to it. He started typing out a response, but  just  before he confirmed it, he re-read it. His eyes widened in realisation as he noticed what he'd written.

_'I am not fine. Something's constantly  bothering me, there's a voice in my head.  I think  I need help. I want to stop making videos. I want to stop doing anything. I can't feel happy anymore. Sorry guys'_

'What the-?!' the Irishman deleted the whole reply in an instant. He took a deep breath, wondering how he could black out like that during typing a simple comment. 'Okay, let's start this over…' he wrote another one.  But as he realised that he typed in something that starts with _'It's insane, I can't keep it under control anymore_ ' he  just  threw his phone aside. 'Urgh, forget it. I'm too exhausted.' He rubbed his temples, he had a light headache.  If there was something else he hated about the nightmares, it was how  emotionally  drained he'd always feel afterwards.

Jack sighed and got up from the couch. It was quite late already and he knew he had work to do. 'First I gotta refresh myself a bit,' he mumbled, eyeing the bathroom's door.  Everytime he went there something bad was bound to happen, so he didn't feel too eager about visiting the room. 'Anti's been quiet lately though. Maybe he'll leave me alone today...'  the green-haired man didn't want to acknowledge it, but he started calling the voice in his head by its 'name'.

When he went into the bathroom, he stood in front of the sink and turned the water on. He watched it running but didn't lean in to wash his face. Instead, he started chuckling.

'I'm  just  losing my mind, is that it?' Jack smiled  desperately, looking at himself in the mirror. He didn't care about the pitiful expression he was wearing. 'It's all in my head and I keep talking to myself.' Despite the laughter that wanted to escape his throat, he was hurting like hell. Seeing his miserable face was enough to make his heart ache. 'What the fuck happened to me?' a single tear rolled down his cheek.

He closed his eyes, listening to the water when he felt something on his cheek. It was warm and gentle, like it was someone trying to soothe his nerves. The Irishman leaned in to the touch, more tears coming out of his eyes. He kept smiling through the pain, and soon broke into a laughter.  'I'm so fuckin' delusional,' he  slowly  opened his eyes,  perfectly  knowing nobody was there to help him. The phantom touch was gone and Jack was crying even more. He felt so alone and it was getting to him.  He even suspected that it was the crushing loneliness that was responsible for his mental state.

He had so many friends, so many fans that supported him every single day, but at the moment it all felt so distant. The green-haired man missed having someone talking to him, being by his side. It was too silent, and too empty. Jack  suddenly  let out a scream and fell to his knees. He yelled, sobbing, until his throat gave out. When that didn't feel like enough, he started pounding the floor with fury he didn't know he had locked away.

The Irishman had no idea what was happening to him. He was acting like a madman. 'So I've  just  gone crazy, is that it?!' he shouted again, his voice strained and raspy. 'I'm  just  sick in the head?!' He raised his head and glared at the mirror above him. 'Answer me!' He needed something - someone - to blame.

Jack went silent, panting with frustration. He rose to his feet, staring at his reflection. He was waiting for something to happen. Anything. He needed to talk to someone.

_You don't have anyone to turn to, hmm?_

'I fuckin' asked you a question,' the Irishman snarled. The figure in the mirror smirked and its eye colour changed to green after he blinked. It shook its head, faking a worried expression much to Jack's irritation.

_If I'm a part of you, then you really **are** talking to yourself._

The green-haired man acted on impulse. He punched the glass in front of him without giving it a second thought. 'It's your fault! Get the fuck out of my head!' He was yelling and sobbing again, both internal and external pain mixing together.

_Jack. You need help._

Anti's voice was more disorted than usual.  The human was  just  standing with his fist still stuck between the shards of glass, tears rolling down his face. If he had looked into the mirror, then  maybe  he would have noticed the demon grin.

_I'll be glad to make sure you don't get any._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to college! I wrote this chapter during a chemistry lecture, lol.  
> I don't know if I'll be able to keep up daily updates, so don't expect a chapter tomorrow.


	9. Torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a time when I'll stop lying to myself and focus on the studying instead of writing this fic.  
> This is a direct continuation of the last chapter, the next 2 chapters will be connected to it as well.

Jack pulled his hand away, some shards dropping into the sink. The skin on his knuckles was all broken and white, and it was bleeding profusely. In the spur of the moment it didn't even hurt that much. 'H…Help. I need help…' the Irishman muttered, lowering his gaze to the floor. He felt scared, but also ashamed and confused. What he was trying to do, he couldn't understand himself.

_How about you and I play a game?_

Anti was still there, watching Jack from behind the mirror. He was always there, listening to his every thought, waiting for his opportunity to strike. The human was too shocked to think rationally. He didn't refuse.

_Let's see how long you'll endure._

'No, I… I need to get help… I have to…' the green-haired man turned around to face the exit. He hadn't closed the door before, so he took a step forward to escape the bathroom. But before he could make it, the door closed with a slam. The Irishman grabbed the handle and pulled a few times, but it didn't budge. 'A-again?!' he winced, the bloody knuckles reminding about themselves. If he'd felt a bit better he would've tried ramming the door. But in his current state he figured that he'd make things worse. Jack let out a sigh of exasperation. 'Okay, bring it. I just want it to be over,' he mumbled leaning against the wall. No response. It was surprisingly quiet again. He turned around to look at the mirror, but he couldn't make anything out through the shattered glass. He had to admit he'd smashed it pretty hard. The pain in his hand was an irrefutable piece of evidence.

The green-haired man sat down on the floor, the cold feeling of the tiles against his back making him shiver. He glanced at the shower, a thought about washing himself passed through his head. He abandoned the idea, the previous dream still vivid in his mind. It would take a bit more time for him to be comfortable with undressing in front of a mirror again. 'So what do you have in store for me today?' Jack asked aloud, though he didn't know if he wanted an answer. Either way, he got none. '…Whatever.'

The Irishman was never really a person to keep quiet or still for too long. It felt like an eternity had passed already, but knowing his impatience it might've as well been a few minutes. He got fidgety, and let his back slide down the wall all the way to the floor. He wasn't sitting anymore, sprawled on the bathroom floor. The pain in the hand seemed to have gone away some time ago, and now it felt numb. Without anything concrete to focus on, Jack noticed the water in the sink wasn't running anymore. He didn't remember turning it off. '… Weird.' If there was anything the demon enjoyed doing, it was annoying him. So why not let the water run? He stared at the sink, when he noticed a droplet of water forming under the tap. It changed into a bigger bead until it got enough weight to be pulled down. It fell into the sink with a quiet splash. Jack blinked.

He started to feel regret for not having his phone with him. 'I wish I could at least text somebody… Or check the stuff on the Internet… Man, I really have no self-control.' Being all by himself without any way to escape the reality proved to be harder to bare than it'd seemed to. This time he had nobody to talk to. Even his inner demon was unusually quiet. It made him uneasy.  
Another drop of the water interrupted his thinking. 'Since when is my tap leaky?' the man thought. He realised he should get up and check it except for the fact that… he couldn't. His legs refused to move. They got stiff from the lying against the tiled floor, and it wasn't just his legs. When Jack started feeling prickling sensation in his arm, he couldn't lift it. His own lack of strength grounded him, his limbs too heavy. The feeling of numbness spreaded itself across his whole body.

He heard the splash again. It wasn't that quiet anymore. With the unnatural lack of other sources of sound, the drop landing in the sink was much clearer. It started getting to him, though he didn't want to admit it yet. 'I just don't have anything to distract myself with,' the Irishman muttered to himself. Still, he secretly wanted it to stop.

He watched another drop form and fall under its own weight.

_Drip._

'It's water, Jack,' he breathed in. '… Just water.' And another one formed before his eyes.

_Drip._

It didn't feel simply annoying. Normally, he'd love any kind of sound to interrupt the perfect silence. After all, he hated it.

_Drip._

But something about the sound was maddening. The way it was quiet enough as not to make a noise, but at the same time it would cut in his train of thoughts.

_Drip._

The feelings of restlessness and helpessness weren't helping either. He couldn't stand it how he was pinned to the ground unable to do anything. Jack felt that he had to break it or else he'd go crazy. His own thoughts were becoming louder from the frustration.

**_Drip._ **

Yet not loud enough to drown the water out. He could swear that it was slowing the time down. He had no idea how much time he'd spend in the locked room. It was more than enough to drive him crazy. His mind, weak from the past experiences couldn't take it anymore. It gave out, and Jack screamed.

_Drip._

He shouted on top of his lungs, and yet that wasn't enough. He could still hear the water in his head. Then, a familiar thing spoke in his mind.

_That's enough._

Before he could understand the words, he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop I actually read up on psychological torture before writing this. I tried hard to make it interesting.


	10. Accident

Jack hadn't left his house in over a week. That's why he felt surprised when he realised he was on the street. On top of that, it was a part of the city he didn't recognise. 'What am I doing here…?' he thought, and was about to start walking, except that his legs refused to move. _Again_. He shuddered, remembering what had happened before. It didn't make sense to him. Barely a few minutes ago he was locked in his bathroom, and now he was outside. 'Okay. What the hell is going on?' the Irishman closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he remembered about his injury, and looked at his hand. Well, tried to, because he couldn't even move his head. Instead, his body, as if acting on its own, turned left and walked down the street.

The green-haired man was freaking out. He couldn't do anything, not even speak. He wasn't in control anymore. What scared him even more was wondering who was doing it, if not him. He had a feeling he knew exactly _who_ , but didn't dare to even think about it. He was forced to watch himself pass unfamiliar places. He even bumped into a few people and wanted to apologise each time, but no words left his mouth. Jack noticed that the further he went, the less people there were. That part of the city was rather shady and some suspicious figures were hanging around in the area. But to his relief, nobody approached him. The last thing the Irishman wanted was to get robbed while he wasn't even able to do anything with his body.

He stopped in a place where the road took a sharp turn. Not many cars were passing by, and most of them were slowing down before the turn. Right in front of the road there was a huge tree there, so it was understandable. Crashing into it with too much speed would have terrible consequences.

' _This one will have to do,_ ' Jack heard himself say. No, he heard ' _him_ ' speak. 'What are you planning…?' he asked in his mind, but got ignored. Instead, his head turned to the approaching car. It wasn't exactly speeding past the limits, but it was definitely going too fast. 'It's probably going to slow down now…' the man tried getting rid of any worries. He didn't trust his own body, hoping that Anti wasn't going to do anything reckless. He had no clue that through his thoughts he was giving the demon ideas.

The car got closer, and the Irishman moved to stand in front of the road. 'W-what the hell are you doing?!' he yelled, somehow wishing that the thing in his body had a plan that didn't involve killing himself. The driver honked at him, and stepped on the brakes. The demon clicked his tongue and snapped his fingers. The car's brakes gave out completely in an instant and the woman sitting behind the wheel panicked. To avoid the person standing in the middle of the road she swerved out of the way. Due to the speed she lost the control over the car completely, and went straight at the tree. When the vehicle hit the tree, it flipped over with a crushing noise.

The green-haired man felt himself smile at the bloody sight. If he could, he'd be sick in the stomach.

_Isn't it wonderful, Jack?_

He jolted at the sudden voice in his mind. 'No! No it's not! You monster!' he shouted in his thoughts. 'How can you be so calm looking at people's suffering?!'

_Hmm. You're right._

His body started to move again. It approached the crash site, walking up to a woman covered in blood, who was trying to crawl out from under the car. 'H-help…' she breathed as she saw the man in front of her, her voice faint. If she had looked up then maybe she would have seen how he was grinning, his eyes flashing green.

_It's unfair to just stand by and watch._

'W-what are you- no, noNONO!' the Irishman yelled, as he watched how his body raised his leg. It stomped down on the woman's arm, crushing it with the brute force. The sound of the bones cracking were soon drowned out by the victim's screams. She was wriggling, twisting and turning in place, now trapped in place. 'W-why? Why?!" she sobbed, directing her horrifying shrieks at Jack. Of course she couldn't know that he was screaming just as much in his head and he couldn't do anything. No matter how much he wanted to help her, to apologise, to beg her to forgive him, he simply couldn't. The demon in control of his body was grinning, proud of his work. But soon the yelling inside of his head became a nuisance. Anti snarled, tangling his hand in his hair.

_Shut up, will you?_

'No!!!' the Irishman was trashing around, kicking against the invisible walls in his mind. 'You sick fuck! How could you?! How could you!!'

**_I'll fuckin' teach you a lesson, you little bitch._ **

The demon's voice was much lower and hinted far more danger than usual. Jack had never heard him speak like that. It was the first time he insulted him, too. Somehow, it was enough to render the human speechless for a while. But soon he realised that it was Anti's goal, to make him quiet. In the meantime, his body moved on its own again, walking away from the crash site. If he could, he'd swallow hard before speaking up. 'Oh y-yeah? What can be worse than this?' he tried to put up a brave face. 'Try me.'

_You can't even imagine what I'm capable of doing to you._

'Then just do it! I'm not scared of your empty promises!' The man felt a shiver run down his spine. But it wasn't from his own feelings. It was a shudder of anticipation.

_You'll be eating those words when we get home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit over 10000 words  
> The next chapter may turn a bit... unpleasant. Depending on my mood tomorrow I'll either make it too gorey or not bloody enough.


	11. Stabbing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Anti's a masochist. Just warning ya guys.

The closer they were to his home, the more worried Jack grew. He had no idea what to expect from the demon, and he didn't trust him at all. He cursed the way the creature could waltz into his mind and knew about all of his thoughts. At the same time, it was unpredictable and the human had no way of knowing what it was thinking. It didn't say anything as it walked down the street, wearing his body. The Irishman knew it was the calm before the storm. He just wished he knew _what_ kind of storm. The only sensation they shared were the feelings in his body. So Jack was aware of the way the demon was clenching his fists as he talked to himself in his head. It was his only clue, and he grew even more troubled, being able to connect it only to anger.

_So you think I'm only capable of being furious?_

Anti finally spoke up, taking the last turn to the street Jack's house was on. It calmed the Irishman a bit down, seeing the familiar places. The creature couldn't care less. But it seemed to regain its composure as well. 'Yeah? What else have you been doing, except for tormenting me constantly?'

_Wouldn't you be, after years of confinement?_

'Listen, how many times do I have to tell you? One day you just… Appear out of nowhere, claiming I should know about you,' the human was confused and lost. He felt like he was repeating himself.

_I'm sick of you saying that. It hurts, you know, Jack?_

The way the monster chose its words made him stop talking for a moment. It was the very first time it spoke how it actually felt. The previous times it'd been full of hatred. Now it sounded… honest. 'I-it does?' the Irishman couldn't quite wrap his head around that statement. He wasn't given much time to think, as he didn't even notice they were back in his apartment already.

' _Not that I expected you to understand. The things I've already put you through are nothing compared to what I feel._ ' Anti switched to talking aloud.

I guess I can't simply apologise, can I?' Jack's voice wavered. 'I mean, we can just put it behind us and… I don't know… Get along?'

' _Tired of me already? I'm not going back somewhere you can't hear me again. You still seem to be missing the point of it all,_ ' he started looking around the apartment as he spoke.

'I thought the point was just you getting some kind of sick satisfaction out of my suffering.'

' _And me saying how I'll kill you are just 'empty promises'? Oh, Jack, you underestimate me,_ ' the demon found its way to the kitchen, now looking into the drawers.

'What are you... doing?' the Irishman felt concerned, as he watched how his body was rummaging through the cutlery.

' _I want to make you understand how it felt for me, you know? It wasn't just being locked away,_ ' Anti was talking in a calm manner. Too calm for Jack. He picked up the biggest knife from the drawer. ' _I was ignored. Mocked. Cheated._ '

'W-woah, c-calm down, okay?' the human didn't know if he meant to say that to the creature or himself. 'I-I get the ignored part, but I told you I couldn't hear you. It wasn't my fault. I didn't know you were there, so how could I trick you?'

The demon took a deep breath and examined the knife from up close. Jack felt the uneasiness within him rise as he saw the bright green eyes in the reflection. They showed no emotion. ' _You know. Perfectly well. You just locked the memories away along with me. But that's enough chitchat for now, don't you think?_ ' he smirked, changing the tone in his voice. ' _We can continue our little talk after I get my fun._ ' Anti tightened the grip on the handle.

'N-no! Let's talk it out!' the Irishman yelped, trying to fight back for the control of his body. It was futile, and before he could shout to stop, his hand got impaled on the knife. He screamed, the pain more than he could handle.

The demon also doubled over, feeling it just as much. Except that he didn't shout as much, a giggle escaping his throat. Jack making noise in his head was giving him a headache as well, yet the smile didn't disappear. He took a few shallow breaths before pulling the knife out. _'I-it tickles… Haha… Ha…_ ' the creature laughted madly. Meanwhile the owner of the body was thrashing around in his mind. 'What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck! You can feel it too! Why the fuck would you do that?!'

' _It hurts so much, doesn't it?_ ' Anti felt the tears pricking his eyes in the corners. Yet his grin was only getting wider. _'I love it_.'

'Y-you sick fuck! What are you?! A **masochist**?!'

His arms were hanging limp for a while as he got his strength back, but the demon didn't let the blade go. ' _After so much suffering perhaps I got used to it… Haha… Who can tell…_ ' Anti plunged the knife into the body again, this time into his upper arm. Jack cried out in his mind again, begging him to stop the madness. _'It makes listening to your screams even more pleasant,'_ he sighed, his eyes half-lidded. The Irishman was freaking out, realising that the creature was indeed enjoying it.

 _'S-stop! Stop! **Stop!!!**_ ' the human's terrified screams fell on deaf ears. Anti was far too gone, being too much into the pain. He was laughing out loud again. Tears ran down his cheeks as he pulled the knife out, spilling even more blood in the process. Another swing of his arm and the blade was back in the body, hitting some vital nerves. He lost control in his arm, but didn't even care.

_'Scream for me, Jack.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To balance it all out the next chapter will focus on mind games again. I've got enough blood on my hands already.


	12. Betrayal

Jack felt terrible. He woke up the next day after Anti took over feeling excrutiating pain. His arms covered in stab wounds, he could barely move them. When he went to the hospital (because he'd be stupid to try to patch himself up without help), he had to make up a story how he got assaulted. He knew he couldn't tell the doctors that he did that to himself. The last thing he wanted to happen was him being locked in a mental hospital. The Irishman straight up lied that it was dark and he didn't remember the face of his attacker. Saying that made him shudder, as he knew that he'd see that face in the mirror.

The green-haired man got back home after that, and knew that he'd soon run out of queued up videos. He had to record something, and a part of him was thankful that only his arms were all bandaged. 'I should be fine as long as I wear long-sleeved clothes,' he thought, looking into his closet. The general tiredness was still there, he needed a serious rest first. Still, he set himself a goal of recording at least one video that day. '…Right after a nap.'

Surprisingly, nothing bad happened during the time he was asleep. Or after he woke up. Not even when he recorded the video, feeling full of energy again. It was nice but also a bit unnerving. Jack hated to admit it, but he got used to the things that were happening to him. The unusual lack of the voice in his head was making him worried. It all confused him even more when he recalled how Anti actually talked to him for once. The Irishman didn't care about the demon, yet there he was, thinking about him.

Jack continued his life from that moment on back on his usual schedule. Nothing was interrupting his sleep anymore, he didn’t have any sudden headaches. Part of him was thankful, but he couldn't stop pondering. 'Could taking over my body for so long wear him down?' he wondered, when one day he went into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. It was still broken, as he hadn't replaced it yet. 'Or he's just missing a window?' the Irishman made a mental note to buy a new one. Few days passed and he got rid of the shattered glass and put up a new mirror. He smiled to himself, happy with how his life was back to normal. His wounds healed bits by bits, and he could record videos for YouTube just fine. Jack's fans also noticed him being back to his usual self, and it was one of the most comforting things.

At least, until one day, while he was eating some pizza for dinner, he heard the voice in his head again.

_Such a nice life you've got there, Jack._

The green-haired man chocked on his food, certainly not expecting the demon to be back like that. 'H-how?!'

_I'm always here. Just because I'm quiet does not mean you got rid of me._

'Great. So we're back to regular 'suffering time with Jack'?' he didn't hide the sass in his voice. He was content without the additional problems.

 _Oh, your words wound me so,_ the demon didn't hold back from being sarcastic either. _I wanted to tell you I reconsidered your… offer._

'What offer?' the Irishman stopped eating. He realised he should choose his words carefully.

_You said that we could… get along… talk it out?_

Jack could practically feel the creature grin in his head, yet it managed to keep its voice serious. 'W-well, I, for one, am perfectly fine the way things are right now. Without you ruining it.'

_What can I say, you're a stubborn one. I'd like to have a say in this too._

'You know I don't trust you at all,' the human muttered. 'You convinced me not to trust you with the way you fucked me up the last time.' He used his best argument, feeling proud of himself. He was sure it would put Anti at disadvantage. Yet he was forgetting that the demon knew all about his thoughts.

_And yet the fact that you've been thinking about me so much lately says otherwise. I appreciate the concern, Jackaboy._

'Y-you bastard!' the Irishman growled. He was losing one way or another.

_I think I have a… solution… that will satisfy the both of us._

'It's a no from me if it involves killing me,' Jack huffed, half-joking, half-serious.

 _Oh no, no. Not yet, at least,_ the demon giggled. _I just thought how unfair it is for me to have the access to all your thoughts and memories. Makes you **soo** frustrated, doesn't it?_

The green-haired man hated how Anti knew how to push his buttons. He knew where he was going with it. 'And what would you get out of it?'

 _Don't you worry your head about it. I know you want it either way, don't you?_ His voice was smug and confident.

'So what happens if I agree?'

_You'll know what I'm thinking, the way I know what's on your mind all the time._

'I've got a bad feeling about it. Like, really bad,' Jack swallowed hard.

 _It'll help you get answers for all the questions that have been nagging you._ The demon's words were too convincing.

'Okay. You… you win. Is this what you want?'

_Not quite. For it all to work, you need to say my name like you mean it._

'Are you fuckin' kidding me…' the Irishman rolled his eyes. 'I agree, **Anti**.'

The moment the words escaped his lips, his head got filled with images he'd never seen before. Pools of blood, people screaming, their faces missing eyes, their tongues cut out from their throats, their limbs mangled, teared out from their bodies. Jack's head instantly felt like it was about to explode. And among it all, triumphant, mad laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 19 kudos and over 160 hits, thank you guys so much <3  
> I may take a small break over the weekend, I need to do some projects. But knowing myself I'll probably write something anyway.


	13. Painful memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a flashback!

_You want to know everything, Jack. You feel so lost and you think that having the memories back will help. Well, you're right about one thing. It **will** help, but **not you**. Now, where were we..._

 

'Jack! Jack! Can you hear us?'

'Earth to Jack! Was three beers too much for you?'

Laughter and friendly shoves made him snap out of some kind of trance. He noticed the faces of his high school friends around him.

'No, no! I'm fine!' he chuckled and waved his hand. 'It's you who had too much!' he punched one of the guys in the arm.

The Irishman recognised that memory. He was nineteen, and at that age he used to go out with his friends to drink at weekends. It was one of those nights and he was watching it through his own eyes. It was actually quite late, and they had already left the bar.

'Welp, my house's this way, so see you guys!' one of the boys pointed at the crossroads. He walked away from the group, his legs wobbly from the amount of alcohol.

'Yeah, me and my buddy here are gonna leave soon too,' another one slurred, leaning towards his friend.

'Sucks to be you, Jacky. You live too far to just walk home, huh,' the other guy nearly toppled over as he spoke, trying to steady himself and the one on his shoulder.

'Don't worry dudes, the bus stop is that way, it's not too far from here,' he reassured his friends, though he also had troubles with talking. 'See you guys on Monday?'

'Yeah, bye!'

He watched his friends walk away, and after he heard them start singing drunkenly aloud, he giggled and went his way as well. The Irishman was still holding an unfinished bottle of beer, so he took a few sips as he made his way to catch the night bus. It was one of the very few downsides of living in the cabin in the middle of the woods, but he didn't mind it that much. He didn't complain as long as he didn't have to get a cab. When he got to the stop, the bottle was already empty, but he held onto it. The trashcan was overflowing with garbage anyway. Jack started to doze off, the amount of alcohol in his body enough to make him sleepy. He had to wait for half an hour for the next bus, so he tried to stay awake. It was a lost fight though, and as soon as he closed his eyes, he passed out.

Or it was supposed to go like that. Jack's memory started to fail him, as his younger self opened his eyes. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel tired at all. In fact, he didn't even feel drunk. The light dizziness that put him to sleep was gone.

' _No fuckin' way… How did it work?_ ' he heard himself speak, and he freaked out at the memory. That voice… it wasn't him. It was that _demon_.

Anti stretched his arms out with a yawn. ' _Well, since that bastard got drunk and won't even remember anything… Let's have some fun._ ' He got up from the bench. He forgot about the bottle that Jack had been holding before, so when he heard a soft clank he whipped his head at the source of the sound. ' _What do we have here… I don’t expect that idiot to carry any weapons, so might as well take it._ ' He picked up the bottle by the neck and without hesitation smashed the bottom against a wall. The dark-green glass shattered the shards that fell off revealed sharp endings. Anti touched them with his fingertips, and when he felt the pointy thing, he bit his bottom lip. ' _It must feel great… I wish I could just plunge it into this cursed body already. One day. One day I'll make him pay for it. But for now someone else will have a taste of that pleasure._ ' He pressed his hand against the glass even more, grinning as he started to feel pain. The demon sighed as he let go and walked away from the bus stop, hiding the bottle under his jacket. He knew that he wouldn't make it to the next bus, but he didn't care. As long as Jack was unconscious he wouldn't know what had happened when he'd wake up the next day.

Anti walked past a club, and noticed two girls smoking near the entrance. He winced, seeing the light puffs of smoke coming out from their mouths. _Disgusting. Can't be too picky, though,_  he thought and approached them. ' _Well, hello there ladies_.'

He was met with a giggle from one of the girls. The other one rolled her eyes. 'Hi there, handsome,' the smiling one had bright blonde hair that was fading into dark brown on top of her head.

 _'What are you two doing out here, all by yourselves?_ ' the demon put up a flirtatious smile.

'Nobody's good enough in this place,' the blonde took a drag and coughed a bit. 'The guys in here are such morons, you know? They don't even know how to talk to a girl!'

The other one finished smoking her cigarette and threw it on the ground, stomping with her high heel to put it out. 'I'm going back in, you two can continue the sweet talk alone,' she muttered and left them.

' _Well then, how do you talk to a girl?'_ Anti teased, leaning closer towards the girl. He could barely hold himself from backing away from the stench of cigarettes. ' _I'd really like to know…_ '

The blonde giggled again, she clearly had too much alcohol as well. 'Hmm… You gotta make her feel… comfortable,' she lowered her voice to a whisper, closing her eyes. 'And show her how… interesting… you are.'

 _I can't believe how easy to get that bitch is_ , the demon thought, smirking at his next victim. He wrapped his arm around her waist. _'How about we go somewhere we can practice, I'll try to do my best and you judge if I'm good enough?_ '

'Sounds like you're already passing the test for me, but I'd like to see your… full potential.'

A simple push was enough to make the girl move, she clinged to Anti's chest as they walked away from the club. She was still giggling quietly, the alcohol in her body getting to her head. The demon wanted to get her off him as soon as possible. He couldn't pretend being so sweet for too long. That's why when he saw the first unlit alley, he immediately pushed the girl in. She had no clue what was about to happen, so she only gasped. As Anti pinned her against a wall she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss. The demon took out the shattered bottle in no time and pushed it into her body. She wanted to scream out from the pain, but his lips against her stopped most of the sound. As much as he hated the taste of the cigarettes, he kissed her aggressively, stealing her air. Anti was much too strong for her, and he held her in place with his body weight. She had no means of escape and could only writhe under him as he plunged the sharp glass into her body again. The girl tried kicking him, but without seeing where to aim she didn't do any damage.

A few stabs, muffled screams and loveless kisses and bites the blonde's body slowly went limp. The demon let her go and watched her life leave her eyes as she slid down the wall. He was panting furiously, covered in her blood. It felt great. He hadn't had a chance to kill anyone in a long time, and it was such a pleasant feeling.

Anti didn't care about the state he'd be returning Jack'd body in. He ripped the bloody jacket and shirt off. After realising that the black trouses he was wearing weren't stained too much to look suspicious, he decided to go back to the bus stop. The cool night air felt refreshing against his bare skin. His wide eyes flashed green so much they were glowing in the dark.

 

_Killing someone makes you love being alive. Doesn't it, Jack?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not entirely proud with the way it turned out, because I feel like I rushed it too much. Even though I surpassed the usual word limit, I still had it in mind and maybe that's why it feels shorter than it should be for me. .-.  
> 20 kudos?? Thank you thank you thank you!


	14. Drowning

'T-that wasn't me… I… I didn't…' Jack was shaken to the core by the memory shown to him by the demon. 'I don't remember it… It wasn't me…' he sat with his arms wrapped around his knees. He was on the verge of rocking himself to calm down.

_It was you. It was me, and I'm a part of you._

'I… I would never hurt… Kill… anyone…' the green-haired man kept repeating the words. He had no idea what to think of the memory. The creature living inside his head could create terrifying pictures as it pleased. But that one felt so real, _too_ real. It wasn't just what he saw or heard. The memory had all other senses as well. Jack could recall the smell of the smoke, the taste of the girl's lipstick, the feeling of her struggling.

 _That's what you wanted. The truth, right? There it is_. Anti sounded more than pleased with himself.

'Y-you're lying… It's just another trick…' the Irishman said in a shaky voice. 'I don't believe you…'

 _So that's how you repay me for my honesty?_ The demon huffed. _I finally give you back your most repressed memories and you call me a liar._

Jack was too shocked to be able to tell whether the voice in his head was genuinely offended or just playing with him. 'Y-you said I'd know what you're thinking… And yet I still have no idea what it was,' he tried to defend himself. 'I-if that was really a memory I wouldn't be questioning it.'

 _Oh, Jack. You're way too naïve. Did you really think I'd be so stupid as to let you into my thoughts?_ The demon cackled.

'T-then what did you do? W-what the hell did I agree to?!'

 _I was honest, don't worry. That memory was as real as I am. I_ _simply will choose which parts of my thoughts you can see._ _And I'll make sure to choose **the best ones.**_

The Irishman pulled his legs even closer. 'T-then maybe you're not as real as you think.' He didn't get any response in his head, but his stomach instantly twisted itself into knots as he said that. An invisible force grabbed his intensines and twisted them, turning them upside-down. Jack sprinted to the bathroom, covering his mouth. He'd barely finished eating his dinner and he was already throwing it all up. And even after emptying his stomach, it was still turning, making him sick. He was holding onto the toilet bowl, coughing and spitting fluids.

**_Am I now?_ **

Anti sounded more spiteful and resentful than ever before. The human waited for his body to calm down, taking shallow and quick breaths. He decided to drop the subject. Anything he'd say would only make it worse. 'I need to relax' he thought as his eyes wandered towards the bathtub. It had been a while since Jack had taken a longer bath and it sounded promising. He got up, flushing the toilet and washing his face in the sink. Then he turned on the warm water on, preparing everything for a relaxing bath.

In the meantime he undressed, putting the clothes neatly aside. He looked at himself in the mirror. Everything seemed to be normal. The cuts on his arms were disappearing and his face didn't look as worn out as before. 'Despite everything, it's still me,' he said and smiled a little. The Irishman knew there will be a lot of thinking waiting for him, but for now his mind needed some rest. He noticed the the water level in the bathtub rised significantly, so he got in. The warm water felt nice against his skin, soothing him immediately. Jack closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure, sinking in further, his nose barely above the water. He stayed like this for a while, enjoying the silence not only around him, but also in his head. The demon was quiet again, letting Jack have his peaceful moment.

As all of the muscles in his body relaxed, the green-haired man didn't realise he slid down into the bathtub. He didn't even know he was holding his breath until his body cried out for oxygen and he opened his mouth to breathe out. But instead of air only water filled his mouth, and he nearly breathed it into his lungs. He started coughing underwater and his eyes shot open. He wanted to push himself out from the water, but some invisible force was holding his head down. Panic quickly rose within him as he struggled with whatever was out there. He couldn't see clearly through the water, but there was some kind of shadow beside the bathtub. Jack's intuition was also telling him there was some kind of unwanted presence nearby.

He tried teaching out to his head to get rid of whatever was weighing him down. To his surprise and further terror there wasn't anything pushing him down. He couldn't even fight back if there was nothing. The lack of air soon got to him, and his vision started to go dark. The Irishman wanted to scream for help, even though he knew that nobody would save him. He was stuck underwater with his mouth half open, the strength leaving his body. He was about to pass out, when the mysterious force pulled him out from the water.

_Who's doing it to you, then?_

Jack coughed and wheezed, fresh air filling his lungs. The voice didn't wait for his response, and his head was back in the water, holding him down again. He wished he could fight back, being only able to flail his arms aimlessly. The green-haired man lost his breath and again, just before his vision went dark, he was dragged up.

**_Who is it, Jack?_ **

He wanted to answer, hoping it would stop the tormenting. But the demon lost his patience for that day. And he subjected the human to the endless drowning for the next hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life lesson: Don't piss off Anti especially right after you've given him more power.


	15. Blindness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry shitty smut or something like that incoming!

If Jack hadn't been getting enough sleep due to his lifestyle before, he was certainly getting it now. The near death experience the demon gave him was more than enough to make the Irishman want to go to bed earlier. Both the memory of the murder and drowning took their toll on his mental state. He felt immense tiredness again as soon as he snuggled down in his bed. The sweet embrace of sleep came to him quickly and he drifted off into the realm of dreams.

The green-haired man saw darkness. It was the constant thing that surrounded him in his nightmares. It was neither warm nor cold, chill on his skin, but hot in his lungs. It was more stuffy than the air, wrapping itself around him, pushing itself down his throat and burning him from the inside. But in the end, something would always appear in it, give Jack something to look at. But this time, there was nothing. Only the darkness and faint ringing in his ears.

_Jackaboy, we're going to play tonight._

The Irishman immediately tensed up, looking around to find the source of the voice. But his vision was still dark. 'A-Anti?' he asked.

_Who else? Last time I checked you were only **my** toy._

Jack shuddered at the name the demon called him. 'W-where are you?' he turned his head around, unable to localise where the sound was coming from. The creature chuckled, right next to his ear.

**_Right here._ **

The green-haired man still didn't saw him anywhere, and it terrified him. He knew he'd feel safer if he could see the danger than was approaching. He felt an arm wrap itself around his waist, pulling him forward until he bumped into something - _someone_. Then a hand found its way to his hair, pulling at the green strands. Jack acted quickly, trying to push himself away from the figure. 'N-no, I'm not going to play your games!'

His disobedience was met with a low grumble. The fingers that were resting on his hip turned into claws that sunk into his skin. _I didn't ask you._ The other hand, tangled in his hair grabbed something else and tugged it, pulling Jack's head backwards. That was when the Irishman realised that the reason he couldn't see was a blindfold. He still tried to get away, in spite of the pain caused by the other. The harder he tried, the more he was pushed into the demon's body.

 _Did I fuckin' stutter?_ Anti kept his voice low, he knew how scared the human could get from it. _There's nowhere to hide now, you let me into your mind._

Jack cursed under his breath as he stopped resisting. His head landed on the creature's chest, and he was pretty sure it was shirtless. 'W-what do you mean 'now'?' he gasped, the hand sliding from his hips to his front.

 _You shattered the last barrier between your part of our consciousness and mine._ The demon leaned in, smiling against Jack's lips as he kissed them.

The Irishman felt disgusted with the intimate touches he was receiving. The fact that he couldn't see was frustrating him even more. He couldn't even pull away, the strong grip in his hair keeping his head in place. Meanwhile Anti was taking his sweet time licking and nibbling, soon trailing kisses along Jack's neck. One tug was enough to expose the human's fair skin to his fangs. When he bit down he finally got a reaction he desired - Jack cried out from the pain. 'S-stop, stop!' he pushed him away, catching the demon off guard for a second. Unfortunately for him, a swing of an arm quickly followed and Anti slapped him hard in the face. The force of the blow was enough to make him fall over.

 _You stupid bitch, I'm getting what I want whether you like it or not._ The creature sounded feral, bloodthirsty. In a moment it was already pining Jack down, sitting on his stomach. The Irishman heard him snap his fingers and next thing he felt were his wrists brought together above his head, and tied. He knew it was over, he was too vulnerable in that position. 'W-what do you want then…?' his voice was high-pitched from the fear and trembling. After he asked, he didn't know whether he actually wanted to get an answer.

 _I want to hear you make all those pretty noises that I could only witness from the back of your head._ Anti said, confidence and dominance overflowing from him. He shifted a bit, so that he could put his hand on top of Jack's stomach, making the human shiver. He slowly moved it down until he reached the end of his shirt. Then he slid his hand inside, grazing the skin with his nails. The slight pain caused uneven breaths from the Irishman. The demon's touch covered his abdomen and soon his chest. Anti didn't play around as he pinched his nipples, drawing more gasps from Jack.

_Yes, let me hear it. I want to be the reason._

The other hand found its way to the human's trousers and quickly undid the zipper. He tugged at the restraints on his wrists, knowing what was coming. 'N-no, that's enough, stop it,' he whimpered, but the only response he got was the demon twisting his nipple with a sick smile on his face. Jack yelped out, and the next thing he felt was Anti's hand in his boxers.

_It's never enough for me._

The creature leaned forward to the Irishman's face, kissing him again. Jack didn't have any will to fight back at this point, so he parted his lips to let the demon in. His tongue felt so good and yet so wrong, the pleasure mixing with pain. His mind was screaming at him to stop the madness, to resist the touches. But Jack was slowly breaking down and Anti knew it.

_You like it, don't you?_

'...Y-yeah.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry you guys, I've finished planning the rest of the chapters out and only one of them will have some proper smut. Unless you're into this shit *shrugs*  
> Thank you so much for comments, 26 kudos and so many hits! It makes me so happy and motivates me to keep going!


	16. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original prompt was 'supernatual' but since the whole fic is about a demon, I decided to change it.

Jack woke up, panting wildly. He sat upright, trying to catch a breath. The dream was still vivid in his memory, and he wished he could erase it. It stirred his feelings and he was too perplexed to think. One part of him screamed how he hated it, how he shouldn't have given up, how wrong it was. The other part was telling him how pleasant it felt, how he needed it. The Irishman desperately wanted to shake it all off, because neither of those thoughts felt right. But then again, he didn't know _what_ would be right.

_I do._

Jack sensed the temperature drop in the room. His eyes shifted from one side to another, expecting something to appear. The voice in his head would never leave, and he wondered if it could catch him in his room. He got rid of all reflecting surfaces from his bedroom some time ago. He needed the sense of security in at least one place in his apartment, even if it was fake.

_We've had so much fun…_

'No…' the green-haired man mumbled. He was scared of admitting anything to the demon. 'I-I didn't… like it.'

_Really? Too bad._

Jack's phone buzzed, the screen illuminating the room. He reached out for it and when he picked it up, he noticed the time. 4:03 A.M. 'Not again…' he sighed, having a feeling that it wasn't a coincidence anymore. 'Do you like this hour, or what?' he was exhausted emotionally and couldn't even care to be terrified.

_Maybe I do, maybe I don't. If only you could remember what had happened._

'I told you I'm trying, because for fuck's sake I want to get rid of you!' the Irishman raised his voice. Sure, he could be drained from all emotions, but there was always enough room for irritation.

 _How about a little game? If you win, I'll give you a hint_. The demon would always sound so confident and flippant.

'A-and what if I lose?' Jack got only a dark, low chuckle in response. He shuddered, afraid what he had in mind.

_So what will it be? You know that either way I'm going to have my way with you, **my little plaything.**_

The green-haired man hated the pet names he was called. But he hated the dubious choices he was given even more. 'I just know that if I refuse you'll do something even worse.'

 _Aren't you a smart one, Jackaboy. But don't think you can stall forever._ Anti's voice tone turned serious. _Your answer. **Now**._

Jack swallowed hard. 'O-okay. What's the game?' As he asked, the flashlight in his phone turned on. He tried to turn it off, but the screen was black and he couldn't activate it no matter how much he tried.

_Let's play hide and seek. Don't let Them find you! **~**_

'T-them? Who's ' _Them_ '?!' The Irishman squeaked, jumping out from the bed. He heard some kind of whispering, and when he raised his phone to light up the room, he noticed a shadowlike creature by the window. It had its back turned to him, but when he made more noise it looked at him. Its body was made out of smoke, so the only way he could see that it was turning around was that two red dots slid across its head. They stared at him, continuing the whispering. Then it hit him. The whispers were numbers. ' _31, 30, 29, 28…'_ the shadow was counting down. Jack didn't want to risk anything and sprinted out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 'W-what the fuck is _t-that_?!' he screeched.

 _If I were you I wouldn't make so much noise. But then again, you don't know how to be quiet._ The demon giggled in his head. _The better for me._

The Irishman knew he didn't have much time. He ran towards the front door, but as soon as he tried to open it he realised it was jammed. 'Are you fuckin' kidding me?' he muttered, trying to keep his voice down.

 _12… 11… 10…_ Anti had fun watching the despair take over Jack's body as he reminded him about the little time he had left.

The human, seeing no other choice, fled to his recording room and hid under the desk. The flashlight in his phone was still on, and he cursed under his breath, trying to cover it up.

 _Time's up!_ The demon laughed.

Jack tried to keep his body still, because he was shivering so much the desk itself was moving. 'Please don't find me, please don't find me…' he repeated it over and over again in his head like a mantra. He could still hear the whispering, though now it wasn't numbers. The shadow moved around his apartment, whispering his name. ' _Jack… Jack… Jack…_ ' He couldn't see anything, he couldn't even make out where the creature was. It passed through walls, its voice sometimes louder, sometimes quiet. When it finally reached the recording room, the green-haired man held his breath, scared to make even the slightest noise.

The shadow didn't leave the room as soon as he expected, though. It moved towards him. Jack looked up, seeing a trail of smoke in a shape of hand grab the desk. He didn't see the red eyes through the piece of furniture and a part of him was thankful for that. Still, he wanted it to be gone, and yet it lingered around, staying in one place. The whispering sounded like it was right next to his ear, and his heart was thumping loudly. For a while the green-haired man was scared that it might give him away.

He didn't know how much time passed as he waited, when his phone buzzed again. He was all tensed up and when it vibrated in his hand it startled him and he shouted. But then he realised what he'd done. His eyes shut and he shivered, waiting for the slender, shadowy hands to catch him. But... nothing happened.

_Playtime's over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy is that a cliffhanger?? I guess you'll have to wait till the next chapter!


	17. Amnesia

'I… I… won…?' Jack's voice was all shaky and full of fear. When he opened his eyes he saw that the shadowlike creature was gone, and he was alone, sitting under his desk. He let out a long sigh of relief, he didn't even know how long he'd been holding that in. He felt exhausted mentally, and it started to affect his muscles as he fell over, landing on the floor. The phone slipped out of his hand, the flashlight shining right into his face. The bright, white light burned his eyes, but he didn't feel like covering it. Instead, he stared at it, his eyes half-lidded from the tiredness.

 _So you did._ The demon's voice sounded… Indifferent. It lacked his usual enthusiasm, but it didn't hint any regret after his loss.

'What's my… hint, then?' The Irishman asked weakly.

Anti only chuckled in his mind, though his laughter was empty and cold. _Get up._

Jack's arms were trembling, but he tried to sit up again. He knew he lacked the strength to stand up, so he stayed on the floor for a while. Finally his hand reached for the phone, picking it up. The screen lit up, and it displayed the time. 4:03 A.M. 'B-but…' he stuttered. 'I-it can't be…'

 _What's wrong, Jack?_ The demon asked in a snarky manner.

'The whole game… That shadow…' the Irishman tried to recall what had happened. He knew some time must have passed. Yet the memories of what seemed to have happened just a while ago started to vanish. 'I was… hiding…' The feeling of dread rose in his stomach again. The more he tried to remember, the more he was forgetting.

 _Game? What game?_ Anti's mocking voice wasn't helping. With each passing second the memory was being erased.

'N-no, I'm sure… I'm sure something has happened!' Jack rose to his feet, the adrenaline kicking in. He looked around his recording room, noticing that everything was in its place. 'Why did I come here?'

 _Why, indeed…_ The creature laughed in his mind.

'What are you doing?! I know it's you!' he shouted. '… The door! It was locked!' He tried to hold onto at least one piece of the memory. He sprinted out of the room straight towards the front door. He turned the knob, and the door didn't budge. He reached with his shaky hand towards the lock, opening it. The door opened without a problem.

_You always lock it for the night. What were you expecting?_

'No! This is wrong!' Panic was overtaking the Irishman's body. He turned around, his eyes darting from one side of the apartment to another. Everything was the way he'd left it in the evening, without any signs of disturbance. Yet it didn't feel right. He rushed to his bedroom, only to find the door closed.

_You closed it when you left._

'B-b-but why? I don't close the doors in my apartment!' He wasn't sure why he felt the need to explain himself. It rubbed him the wrong way and something was telling him that his actions weren't justified. His mind was blank, and he desperately wanted some answers.

 _Why, why, why… Why are you asking me?_ Anti sneered. _Can't you **remember** yourself?_

'Stop it! This is your fault! You're erasing my memories!' Jack opened the door to his bedroom, wanting to go back to sleep again. He was being paranoid. He hid his face in his hands.

_What makes you think so? What evidence do you have that anything has ever happened?_

'I…' the green-haired man sat down on his bed, throwing the phone on his pillow. 'There was…' he struggled, trying to recall anything. But everything was gone now. 'N-no… There must've been…'

_Poor Jackaboy. You're doing it to yourself again._

'What are you talking about?' he laid his head down on the bed. The messy hair fell to the side, partially covering his face. He didn't care about it at the moment.

_You're being delusional._

'Who wouldn't be, if they had a voice talking to them in their head?' Jack retorted, taking a deep breath. His muscles slowly relaxed against the comfort of the bed.

_You're lying to yourself. You're forgetting things you don't want to remember._

The Irishman didn't reply. He closed his eyes, letting his heartbeat calm down.

_I only gave you the taste of your own medicine._

'I don't understand... I... I've been trying to... And after you showed me that memory...' Jack felt tired, his voice barely above a whisper. His phone buzzed again. He reached out for it, opening one eye. The lock screen indicated there was a new message. He unlocked it and saw it was a message from... himself. It read ' _I'm trying._ '

The demon sounded slightly annoyed, yet he continued. _It's not about trying to remember._

'Then what is it? It's your goal to make me remember in the end, isn't it? Why won't you tell me?' the phone made a sound again. Another message, the sender: his own number. ' _I want to get rid of you.'_

_You simply don't want to remember._

Both the messages and the creature's comments sounded too cryptic. The Irishman didn't bother to ask it about what was happening to his phone. He had a feeling he wouldn't get any answers, and the demon was behind it anyway. 'What are you telling me this for, then? It's not going to change anything, is it...' A buzz. A message. ' _If I refuse, you'll do something worse._ '

A moment of silence followed his question. Neither said anything, and Jack listened to his own breathing. The screen in front of him dimmed after a while, and soon it locked itself. He closed his eyes, letting go of the device in his hand. He felt that he was about to fall asleep. It was surprising how calm he was, especially after a sudden panic attack. A quiet voice spoke in his head one last time.

_That's your hint._

With that last sentence Anti went completely silent. Jack's mind was drifting away already, and with the remnants of his consciousness a thought crossed his mind.

'A hint… For what?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anti doesn't play fair, does he?  
> 29 kudos and 296 hits, am I dreaming? ;_; You don't even know how happy I am to see people read this story!  
> As always, comments are appreciated!


	18. War

The first thing that came to Jack's mind was that he was standing on a floor that looked like a giant chessboard. It was dark, and he couldn't see anything else. He was barefoot, and his feet were freezing against the cold tiles.

'H-hello?' he called out, and his voice echoed in the void. He didn't get any verbal response, but flames bursted out above him. He noticed a huge chandelier hanging from a ceiling that was too high. The fire illuminated the room, but the Irishman still couldn't see any walls. The floor seemed to stretch out endlessly. Something was lying just a few meters away from him. It looked like it was made out of white marble. He walked up to it, and realised it was a statue of a human with a pike stuck in its chest. Its face looked familiar, its eyes, though open wide depicting terror, were deep blue. 'It kinda looks like a chess piece from that set we used to have…' Jack thought, studying its attire.

He didn't have much time to stand around, because after a minute he heard a thumping noise. Its volume rose quickly, the source getting closer. The green-haired man blinked and he saw a black horse galloping straight at him. The knight riding it was holding a long spear, its end pointing at Jack. He screamed, jumping aside, just barely missing being pierced.

'Another one of your games?!' he shouted. 'What the fuck is this one supposed to be?!'

As he picked himself up from the ground, he heard footsteps, and soon two white, tall figures were standing by his side. Both of them were holding halberds, and they rushed at the horseman. Jack recognised them as the bishops. As he stared at the fight, he heard something like a knock on the glass. He looked around, and then he heard a voice.

' _Don't like chess? What a letdown. But then again, it requires thinking. Didn't expect as much from you._ '

The Irishman heard more sounds, most of them heavy footsteps, and more figures came to the battlefield. A white knight was swinging its longsword at three black pawns, its horse going crazy. Somewhere else, two tall figures (rooks probably, Jack figured), one black and one white, were fighting each other with their maces.

'That's fucked up! Just like you!' He yelled, sarcasm seeping from his voice. He slowly started backing away, the sight of deadly weapons in use terrifying him. He heard a low chuckle.

' _As stupid as usual._ ' Another knock on the glass, it sounded muffled. _'No wonder you're losing._ '

'W-what are you ta-talking about…?' Jack's voice was all shaky, the situation around him not helping. Then he heard a swooshing sound from behind. He stumbled as he turned around, and in that moment two white heads rolled to his feet. A few steps away from him there was a huge black figure, clad in heavy dark armor. It was holding two daggers, one in each hand, and two headless white bodies were lying next to it. The Irishman screamed again, running away from the black queen. As he ran, he realised in horror that all of the dead pieces were white, and the dark ones were still in game.

The demon cackled. ' _You're running out of pieces. Soon you'll be the only one left.'_

'W-w-wait! I'm a part of this too?!' Jack panicked, seeing how all the white figures were being slaughtered. He stopped, trying to catch a breath. 'T-then what am I? A king?!' he couldn't see all of the pieces, but he figured that he could be the most important one. As he shouted the question out, a black rook smashed another white pawn to his right and rushed towards him. It swung its heavy club but it missed his head. The Irishman had no other choice than to continue running for his life.

The demon clicked his tongue. ' _The king is the most important piece on the chessboard. It cannot die… Unlike you.'_

Jack cursed his inability to run faster, as the rook was catching up. In the middle of the chase he saw the white rook that had been fighting the other black one fall. The dark rook stared at him, its red eyes glowing with bloodlust. It threw its club his way. The human ducked to avoid it, but his legs couldn't keep up and he stumbled forward, falling on the cold tiles. He realised it was over. Two tall dark figures towered over him, one put its heavy foot on his leg. It pinned him down, making an escape impossible.

'N-no, I don't want to die…' Jack whimpered, shutting his eyes. He was ready for a blow, but time passed and nothing happened. The sounds of the battle stopped, and it became quiet. Then he heard the quiet knocking on the glass again. And he realised, it wasn't knocking at all. Those were confident, yet barefoot footsteps.

_'Then why are you so ready for it?'_

The Irishman opened his eyes, and a new figure was standing in front of him. His sight didn't focus but he already knew what it was.

The demon crouched down, a wide smile spread across his face. ' _So powerless._ '

'Y-you got me, s-so what?'

Anti reached out to touch Jack's face. He stroked his cheek, but the grin on his face betrayed that there were no feelings behind the gesture. The human knew he was just being screwed around with. The demon leaned forward, his hand gripping Jack's chin, pulling him closer. The Irishman hissed, knowing what was coming.

' _You could never be a king._ ' Anti whispered, and their lips met in a kiss. Jack didn't miss the gesture that the demon made with his other hand. He pointed at something behind the human, and he pulled away.

_'You're the most powerful piece that's in my way.'_

A sharp pain in his chest stopped Jack's thoughts. Something stabbed him in the back, piercing him in and out. His vision went black, and the last thing he heard was laughter as the demon's arms wrapped around him.

_'And that's why you have to die, Jack.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused: Jack was the white queen, Anti was the black king. And what was the white king? It's up to you. :)  
> At first I didn't know how to approach this prompt, but my friend saved my butt by suggesting a game of chess. Hope you like it!


	19. Destruction

Yet again Jack's eyes snapped open, his heart thumping in his chest, a scream escaping his throat. No matter how many tortures he'd go through in the nightmares, experiencing death was always the scariest one. The demon wasn't even trying to be subtle anymore. Or maybe it had never been subtle to begin with. He wanted the human to go crazy, to finally die. But he couldn't do it just yet, and that was the most terrifying thing. The thought that despite everything that had been happening, Jack had to carry on with his life.

He rolled to his side in the dark room. The sun was peeking from the horizon to announce the start of a new day. He couldn't believe that he caught himself thinking about dying. A part of him was wondering if a quick death would solve his problems. Another part of him was denying such option, claiming that it would only make everything worse. The Irishman shuddered, having a feeling that both sides are right. Because neither of them sounded like him anymore. 'Great. Now I can't even argue with myself. Because there is nothing left there.'

Jack closed his eyes again, trying to finish his sleep at least. The nightmare managed to jolt his whole body awake, and it refused to rest again. He curled his hands into fists, they were itching to do something. He sighed, reaching for the bedside table. Without looking, he felt around until he touched his phone. He brought it up to his face, deciding to browse his social media at least. It was always nice to see what his friends were up to, what his fans made for him. The quiet, calm moments like those helped him get back on his feet after the horrifying experiences.

Yet as soon as a fanart depicting the demon residing inside of the green-haired man's head popped up on his screen, the phone was sent flying. It crashed on the wall, the force of the throw enough to break it completely. Jack sat up, his eyes wide and full of rage. _'It's still a joke for them?!_ ' he muttered through gritted teeth. A few seconds passed, and the feeling of anger went away. He shook his head with disbelief as what has just happened. 'Wait, no… Why did I do that?!' he jumped out of the bed, staring at the remnants of the phone scattered on the floor. He crouched, picking up the pieces only to realise it was broken beyond repair. 'Good job, Jack. Ya blew it.'

The sudden fit of rage was something he'd never experienced before. Sure, he had zero patience and would get annoyed quickly, but he'd never lose control over something so silly as a drawing. He stood up and thought about doing something to occupy himself with. He just wanted to make sure it wouldn't happen again, so a cold shower sounded like a good idea to start the day with. The Irishman made his way to the bathroom, but when a closed door stood in his way, he just kicked it open. The forceful hit nearly dislocated it from its hinges. Again, he knew it wasn't like himself to do something like that. 'What's gotten into me?' he mumbled.

Jack proceeded to take his shirt off, but his arms got stuck in between each other. He groaned, and as he tried to get the piece of clothing off, the grip on the shirt tightened and with one swift motion of his arms he ripped it in half. ' _Why is everything so annoying?!_ ' he grumbled, and his vision became hazy. The feeling of anger swept over his body again, and he punched a wall with all his strenght. The plaster cracked and a few small pieces fell on the floor.

The rage was gone as quickly as it appeared, and the green-haired man yelped out in pain. He held his injured wrist, looking at the dent in the wall. He gulped, a thought popping up in his head. He looked at the bathroom mirror with caution, studying his reflection. Everything seemed to be fine, but suddenly he felt a squeeze on his hand, another mood swing incoming. He yelled and stomped on the small stool, the wooden piece of furniture crushing completely under his foot. When his head whipped back to the mirror, he noticed his eyes flash between ocean blue and venomous green.

'I knew it!' as Jack locked his eyes with his reflection, he shouted accusingly. 'I fuckin' knew it had to be you!'

_Oh, am I **this** predictable to you?_

In spite of the fact that he was making the human's body destroy everything, Anti sounded unusually bored. The reflection in the mirror turned its head to one side, then to another, making its neck snap. His bright eyes looked dull, they lacked their usual curiosity.

'Stop acting like you're on your period or somethin'!'

 _How sassy of you._ His mocking voice was seeping with sarcasm.  _What a smart response._

The Irishman rolled his eyes. The whole situation was annoying enough for him to groan. 'I don't give a fuck about your stupid-ass mood swings.' He showed his middle finger.

_Then how about this?_

Jack's hand flew towards his face, cracking his nose. A thin trail of blood escaped from the wound, and he hissed from pain. 'What the fuck is your problem this time?!'

After a moment of silence Anti spoke up. _You being alive frustrates me._

'Do you think it doesn't _frustrate **me**?!_ '

Jack's eyes widened after he realised what he'd just said. 'N-no, no, wait, I-I didn't mean that…'

The demon didn't listen to his excuses. His lips formed a smirk, that soon grew into a grin as he started laughing. The sound of his voice was sending shivers down the Irishman's spine, and the laughter paralysed him.

_If I didn't know you any better, I'd think you're trying to make this easier on purpose. But thank you nonetheless._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next week will be full of tests n' shit... The updates may slow down, depending on my mood for studying.  
> Either way, I completely forgot that my goal is 31 chapters and I've written more than a half already! I feel so proud of myself for being able to push through. As usual, comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	20. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inception time!

Jack abandoned any hopes for having normal dreams at that point. He even stopped wishing for a lack of dreams as well.  Every day whenever he'd close his eyes lying in his bed, he prepared himself for the upcoming mental suffering  . Especially since the accident with the sudden mood swings.  While the demon stopped trying to take over his body, he was torturing him  relentlessly  through nightmare. And  nearly  every single one of them ended the same way - with Jack dying.

That night wasn't any different from the previous ones. As usual the Irishman would wake up, breathing  heavily  . He'd escaped a dream where he was burning alive. He could still feel his skin crawl, the sensation vivid in his memory. He sighed, hiding his face in his hands. 'Why can't it  just  stop?' he muttered, his voice shaky with fear. One of the worst things about the nightmares was that they gave him insomnia for the rest of the nights. His mind refused to go to sleep, afraid of another round of tortures. Jack had no other choice than to sit on his bed, waiting for the exhaustion to force the sleep on him.

After a few minutes he heard a noise coming from the kitchen. 'S-shit, is someone there?' he picked up his phone (he'd bought a new one after he had destroyed his previous one) and sneaked towards the door. He peeked to take a look at his apartment. The living room was empty, and so was the kitchen. Jack stepped out from his room, turning the lights on. Nobody was there, and he let out a sigh of relief. But  just  as he was about to turn around to go back to bed, he heard something that sounded like smashing glass.  The green-haired man walked up to his kitchen counter and noticed the shards scattered on the floor. 'They can't have fallen down by themselves, can they?' he wondered, and thought about cleaning the mess up. A sudden force pushed him from behind. He lost his footing and fell down, right at the broken glass.

As he screamed in pain he jolted awake. He was back in his bed, wrapped in his quilt. 'W-w-what the fuck was that?!' he shuddered, recalling the feeling of thousands small pieces piercing his body. 'No way in hell I'm going back to sleep after that.' Jack sat on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his hair. He closed his fist, grabbing a few strands of green hair. 'This is mad. Why haven't I got any help yet? I can't continue living like this…' he whispered to himself.  He wasn't aware of the fact that he kept his voice quiet, as if fooling himself that the demon won't hear his ramblings.

After a moment of silence he heard a new noise. This time Jack didn't hesitate and rushed out of his bedroom with his phone in one hand. The sound was coming from the bathroom, so he approached the room and opened the door  quickly. Again, nobody was there, and the source of the noise turned out to be a few bottles falling into the bathrub. 'This isn't funny. If you're _that_ bored then deal with it,' the Irishman mumbled. 'You're acting childlish, you know?' he glared at the mirror, but nobody was there. Only his regular reflection, staring daggers right back at him.

A few seconds passed and the air in the room became chilly. A sudden temperature drop made Jack wrap his arms around himself. 'Is there a window open, or what…' he was about to turn around, when his eyes caught a glimpse of a black smoke around his neck.  The green-haired man didn't even get a chance to yelp in a surprise when the shadow materialised itself. It tightened itself around his throat, pushing all air from his lungs and choking him.  He fell to the floor, his hands clawing at his neck, but couldn't feel anything and only left scratches on his own skin. His vision went black within a few minutes full of agony.

And again, Jack woke up back in his bed. His whole body  was covered  in sweat, he was gasping for air. He rolled to his side, his eyes watering up. 'I… I give up…' he mouthed the words  weakly. 'I-if this is  just  another nightmare, then I'm staying here…' he buried his face in the pillow. The Irishman ignored any further noises, shutting his eyes tight. He tried to think about anything but the terrible dreams, but they were stuck in his head. He listened to his breathing, focusing on evening it out so that his heartbeat would calm down.

Jack didn't know how much time had passed, whether he managed to get back to sleep or if he was awake at all. After some time he opened his eyes, damp traces of tears running down his face.  When he noticed there was someone standing right next to his bed, a sudden wave of fear swept through his body, paralysing him. He locked his eyes on the figure, making sure he wouldn't make any noise. He felt too terrified of another death to do anything. The stranger realised the Irishman was awake, though, and squatted. When he saw his face, his eyes widened.

The green-eyed demon didn't say anything. His face showed no emotion, he  simply  stared at Jack.  The human would always look terrified at the sight of the creature, but that time his eyes  were filled  with pure terror. They both knew neither had to say anything. The heavy silence between them continued, until Anti tilted his head and smiled. Jack blinked and he was gone.

The green-haired man closed his eyes again, waiting for himself to finally wake up. But that moment never came, hours passed and he could only roll from one side to another. The sound of the alarm clock made him realise he wasn't sleeping anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the story doesn't seem to go forward very quickly... The next chapter will have a lot of explanations and exposition, though! I may break the usual word limit with it again.  
> Either way, I hope this fic is still enjoyable, haha! Please leave a comment and kudos if you like it!


	21. Curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, let's find out where Anti came from...

'So I know what you are and what you want,' one day Jack was standing in his bathroom, staring at the mirror. The figure behind the glass was looking at him with its curious, sick green eyes. 'But where did you come from?' He squinted his eyes. While he sounded confident, looking at the demon was still sending creeps down his back.

Anti chuckled. _You have no idea what I am._

'How can you be so sure?' the Irishman swallowed, trying his best to hide the uneasy feeling. 'After all this time I could figure some stuff out.'

 _Jack, if you knew what I am, you wouldn't be asking such silly questions._ While he sounded calm, he started to influence Jack's vision, as the room was slowly going dark.

'Then why don't you tell me?' the human was gripping the sink, his palms sweating.

_Why should I?_

'I-isn't whatever you're doing inevitable? I-I mean…' Jack couldn't see anything anymore apart from the mirror in front of him. Everything else was dark like the void he'd always see in his dreams. Even the inside of the mirror was black, and among it all, the figure so similar to his own. He took a few shallow breaths and finished his thought. 'I'd like to know.'

 _Do you **really** want to know, Jack?_ It was easy to tell that Anti was surpassing some emotions. His voice, more disorted that usual, sounded stretched and hesitant.

'Yes!' the Irishman nodded, feeling a pang of regret. 'I-I don't care how bad it's going to be, just tell me.'

_Think. Think hard. You're the one that sealed that memory away. I didn't take it from you._

'Do you think I haven't tried? I would remember something as obvious as summoning a demon!'

Then something clicked in his head. 'Summoning… a demon?' he asked himself, the words feeling so foreign and yet familiar on his tongue. Something resurfaced in his memory, bits by bits it came to him. The creature went quiet, watching as Jack shut his eyes.

-

Teenagers tend to have stupid ideas and Jack and his friends weren't any different. He was sixteen when one day they decided to have a sleepover at one of their homes. One guy's parents were out for the whole night, so they all hung out at his place. They played a few games, talked about stuff and drunk beer like usual teenagers do. The night passed on having fun and laughter. But when the clock announced 3 A.M., the friend whose house they were all hanging out at, brought a weird wooden board. They all instantly recognised it was an Ouija board.

'You can't be serious,' Jack chuckled, seeing his friend make space on the table to set the board down.

'What, you scared?' one of the guys nudged him.

'Me? No! It's just… stupid.'

'I've looked this shit up, you can summon a ghost or something with it to answer your questions!' The friend that brought the board turned all the lights in the room apart from a flashlight. He directed the ray of light at his own face and spoke in a grave tone. 'But there's one condition. Everyone present in the room must participate, or else you'll get cursed.'

'Wooo, so terrifying,' Jack rolled his eyes and picked up the board, studying it. As he looked at the letters engraved in the wood, he felt a faint sting in his fingers, like a spark of electricity. He put it down and backed away from the table, sitting in one of the chairs by the wall. 'Have fun with that, I ain't doing this shit.'

'You're ruining the mood, jerk!'

'Sorry, not scared of any curses or demons,' Jack picked up his beer and took a sip. 'Maybe I'm too old for this.'

Everyone laughed at the joke, and when they calmed down, the rest of Jack's friends started to play around with the board.

Jack decided to occupy himself with checking his phone. He heard his friend's talk, giggles and the sound of the pointer moving on the wood. He didn't pay it much mind, but after some time everything went quiet. It took him a while to realise he didn't hear anything anymore.

'Guys…?' he looked up to see his friends frozen in place. 'Uh… Did I miss something?' Jack walked up to the table. He looked at the board, and the moment he laid his eyes on it, it cracked in half, and everyone in the room apart from him fell over. He slowly backed away from the table looking back at his friends. They were all lying unconscious, their eyes open and empty. 'G-guys, it's n-not funny…' he accidentally knocked over one of the empty beer cans. His back hit the wall, and he swallowed audibly.

A trail of dark grey smoke emerged from the crack in the board and it filled the room with stuffy fog. A disembodied voice spoke up.

**You. Who are you?**

It sounded like it was in Jack's head, and it caused ringing in his ears. 'W-w-who? M-me?'

**You did not participate in the ritual.**

'R-ritual…? I… I… uh, d-didn't think it w-would work?' the teenager's voice was giving away his fear. Whatever was talking to him, it sent chills down his spine.

**You misunderstand.**

'What?'

**These fools. They gave up their souls so easily.**

Jack shuddered when the voice spoke about his friends.

**You did not.**

'T-they… what?! W-what are you, and what did you do to them?!'

**Your soul. I want it. Give it to me and you'll get the answers.**

'N-no way in hell I'll do that!' Jack raised his voise, though the anxiety was building up in his stomach.

**I did not ask. It was an _order_.**

The smoke in the room got thicker, and Jack became dizzy. His head felt heavy and his legs gave out under him. He felt a presence enter his mind, and he tried to push it out. 'I-I don't want to, I don't want to!' he mumbled, it was hard for him to think. 'No.. I… I…'

_I WON'T LET YOU_

Something else spoke in his head, but this time it sounded like Jack's own voice. A sudden wave of strength and confidence swept through his body and he stood up. He had no idea where the feeling came from, but it felt good and he smiled.

_'Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll refuse.'_

**How _dare_ you steal him from me!** The voice sounded furious.

_'He's mine already, go feed somewhere else.'_

**Don't think you'll get away with that.**

It spoke again, like it was right in the middle of Jack's mind. It pushed all of his thoughts aside, and filled his head.

**Human. Forget everything. Imprison that virus in your mind. _Crush it._**

-

When Jack regained consciousness he saw the worried faces of his friends. He groaned, feeling a slight headache. 'W-what happened?'

'Oh, thanks heavens you're okay. I dunno, man! Everyone sorta just blacked out…'

'I told you guys not to buy the cheapest beer! It must've kicked in sooner than we expected…'

Jack looked around the room, everything looked normal. It was morning already, too. He felt slightly uneasy - not quite like himself. But he was glad he was alright. Something inside him was glad, too.

It was the first and the last time Jack and Anti agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before, I ignored the word limit in this chapter since it's supposed to push the story forward a lot.  
> As usual, I hope you enjoy reading the story. If you do, PUNCH that kudos button LIKE A BOSS! haha And don't forget to leave a comment!


	22. Prisoner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit different formatting/style but I hope it's not too hard to read!

The sight that welcomed him when Jack opened his eyes pushed out all of his breath. Everything was dark, and only a faint memory was telling him that he was still in his bathroom. The reflecting surface of the mirror was invisible, Anti looked so clear and close, as if he was right next to him. The demon's eyes were locked on the human, burning into his skull. They weren't _just_ green anymore. The sclera turned black, darker than the void surrounding them. A tar-like substance was slowly oozing out of the left eye, a thick single drop sliding down his cheek. The iris was much brighter than before, with a few light-blue veins here and there. They were pulsating and flickering, like they were made out of pure light. Anti was breathing loudly, his mouth half-open, showing his pointed teeth. His face was twisted into a scowl, with his whole anger focused on the man in front of him.

 

_You've  al ways  been  we ak_

_how  dare  y ou  keep  m e  here_

**_I  ha te  you  I  hate  yo u  I  h ate you_ **

 

His voice was still inside Jack's head, but this time it felt like the creature was constantly moving, the sounds coming from different places. Anti's voice was seeping with fury, it kept glitching, changing volume and intensity. It was processed so much it didn’t sound like Jack anymore. The Irishman took a step back, he wasn't expecting sudden hostility from the demon. 'I… I really d-didn't remember…'

 

_St op  it  with  y our  li es_

_w e  both  kn ow  t he  truth_

_I  s ave d  you r  pat het ic  li fe_

 

The Irishman swallowed audibly, backing away a bit more. The monster in the mirror was scratching the glass, his sharp nails making a deafening noise. 'S-saved me? You… You can't mean…' Jack thought back to the memory he'd remembered a while ago. 'Was that real? C-could it be a…'

 

_I saved you I  sa ved  you  I  sav ed  yo u_

_w hat  for  if  thi s  is  what  yo u've  done  to  m e_

_it  di dn't  have  to  b e  this  w ay_

 

Jack shook his head. 'I'm sorry… I-it's not like I was doing it on purpose…' He knew he wouldn't be able to defend himself with his words alone, because the memory was still fresh in his mind, along with everything he'd felt back then. As much as he wanted to deny it, it was too real, especially in the whole situation.

 

**_But you did  y ou  d i d  it  fo r  years_ **

_yo u  never  liste ne d  to  my  voi ce_

_you r  min d  w as  a  prison  a  p ri so n  made  j u s t  for  m e_

 

The light in the bathroom lit up, then started flickering and eventually the lightbulb exploded. Jack shielded himself from the tiny glass pieces falling on him. Anti was getting louder, and everything in the room was vibrating. 'I-I told you I couldn't hear you!' The Irishman raised his voice, trying to outshout the noises. 'That demon made me do it!'

 

_You_ **_l i a r_ ** _that  de m on  didn't  do  any th ing_

_his  sp el l  died  out  y e t  you  con tin u ed_

_and  I  was  dro w ned  out  in  your  me mories  feel ings  though ts_

_I  was  s u f f o c a t i n g_

 

The scratching stopped, but it just turned into pounding. The demon was punching the mirror from the other side, a desperate look on his face. And then Jack realised, that Anti wasn't only angry. That he wasn't making everything fall off the shelves on purpose. Without giving it a second thought, he whispered. '… You're sad.'

Everything suddenly went quiet, as if the air got sucked out and they were stuck in vacuum, where no sound can exist. After a few moments of silence Anti's arms went limp, and they fell to hang by his side. He spoke up, and this time, the interruptions inbetween the words sounded less like sound glitches, and more like sobs.

 

_Look what you've done to me  look at me  look at what I am  I never was one to kill  I wanted a host  I was having fun until you yo u_ **_y o u  made  me  into  a  mo nster_ **

 

Jack didn't know what to say. He was looking at the creature in front of him, and now he noticed that the demon was indeed crying. 'I… I…' he wanted to stutter out a proper apology, but no concrete words would leave his mouth. For the very first time Anti didn't seem to be reading his mind either, so he was just looking at him, the usual brightness gone from his eyes. The black tears were rolling down his cheeks, and the human felt something on his own face too. When he reached to touch it, he realised he was crying himself as well.

'… A prison…' he said, now being able to connect with the demon's feelings. There was some frustration left, but mostly it was just overwhelming sadness. Emotions gathered over years were stirring in his chest, crushing his heart. An unbearable feeling of guilt made his stomach twist and turn, and Jack didn't know what to do anymore. 'But… you're a demon… You could do something… right?'

  

_I didn't have to do anything when I entered you body. Because I wasn't you._

 

'Y-you weren't… me?' the Irishman asked with hesitation. He couldn't wrap his head around it all. The demon had been tormenting him constantly for the last few weeks, but it sounded so powerless now. 'What do you mean…?'

 

_I was pushed away and forced to become a part of your mind._

_So now I_ **_need_ ** _to kill you, Jack._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the rest because I'm terribly busy with the exams right now... It's pretty hectic here so that's why this update is much later than usual. The next chapter may appear at the end of this week!  
> I had other plans for this chapter, but thought that exploring more into Anti's past and true nature would be fitting after the last chapter.


	23. Experiment

'You don't have to do this…'

Jack's voice was quiet, he felt little in comparison to the creature glaring at him from behind the glass. Its demonic eyes were staring at him, pinning him in place. They looked a bit swollen, but no sadness was to  be seen. Any previous emotion that Anti was showing was overridden by anger. Yet the dark eyes still looked empty, despite how much they'd be glowing against the pale gray skin. 

_Give me one reason why I shouldn't. One._ The demon spoke up, his voice suggesting he got himself together after the breakdown. _Tsk, don't even bother to answer. You won't find **anything**. _

'It wasn't your original plan to kill me, was it?' the Irishman retorted. He felt he was short on time, a headache building up inside his head. He didn't want to pass out in that moment, fearing that the demon may take over his body again.  'B-back then, when you…' He didn't have to finish the sentence, a glint in Anti's eyes showed that the demon knew what he was talking about. Jack wished that it was hope for a good ending for him. 

_Jack, Jack, Jack. Forgetting that I'm in your head already? You only care about **yourself**_ _, you don't care what happens to me._ Anti raised his hand, and swiped it down in a sharp motion. Jack's body obeyed the bizzare order and the human fell to the floor. _Try again._

The Irishman took a deep breath. The fact that the demon gave him a second chance made him nervous, he felt that he  was toyed  with again. 'W-well, when I thought about a good ending for me, I-I meant both of us. S-since you're saying you're a part of me…' as he finished the sentence, he felt his head throb  intensively. He groaned  quietly  as the pain intensified. 

_And you refuse to believe that. Because I say so. So you have no trust for me._ Anti was looking down at the human curled down on the floor. His face turned into a scowl, and another wave of pain swept through Jack's body. _Wrong answer._

'What's the goddamn point of this conversation if you're going to ignore anything I say…?' the Irishman raised his head to look at the demon in the mirror. 'You enjoy giving me false hope so much?'

_I gave you a chance. And you threw it back into my face. Well…_ Anti did something Jack had never seen him do. The demon stopped talking, closed his eyes and turned around. His dark green hair  suddenly  started moving, as if there was a light breeze on the other side of the mirror. His shoulders went limp, like after a long sigh. _Guess we'll have to test my little theory_. 

Jack stared at the mirror for a bit longer, but he couldn't see the demon from that angle anymore.  The headache in his head was now accompanied by a loud ringing in his ears, and soon his eyes started playing tricks on him as well  .  Any colors he could see before had gone away, and he was seeing everything in gray and  slightly  disorted, like through an old video tape.  And before he could get up, let alone get ready for what was coming, the mirror broke into thousands of pieces that flew everywhere. 

Something grabbed Jack's neck and lifted him up. He felt long nails dig into his skin deep without any mercy before he saw his attacker. There wasn't much to see, with the light in the room gone and the figure being dark. Only one thing gave away its identity - the glowing green iris.

' _What would you like, that false hope or continous suffering with no means of escape?_ ' The demon didn't have to speak aloud. Simple whispers were enough for the Irishman to hear him. As he waited for him to stutter out an answer, he threw him against a wall. 

Jack hit his head against the tiles and grunted in pain. 'H-h-how?' he  slowly  looked up, wincing as the movement of his neck caused more aching. 'I-I-I…' he was staring at the demon with wide eyes. He had been careful  as to  not lose consciousness, yet there he was, towering over him. 'N-no, I… please, c-can we  just  …' 

Anti cocked his head to his side,  perhaps  even too far to look natural, and grinned. ' _They say you're quick to change your opinion under pressure.'_

Jack swallowed hard, trying to scoot away, only to find himself stuck in the corner. 'W-we can find a c-compromise, r-right? L-like, a s-solution that doesn't involve me… d-dying?' his voice was shaking more than ever before, as the dark figure approached him.

_'I'm listening. Go on, what do you have in mind?'_ The demon was  clearly  mocking Jack with the tone of his voice, yet something in his eyes displayed genuine curiosity. ' _If you want, I can help you think_.' He got close enough to stomp on the floor, smashing the tiles with deafening noise. 

Jack shrieked, Anti's foot  barely  missing his own. 'I-I d-don't know w-what would  satisfy  you! G-giving you my body?!' He cried out. 'L-letting you control my life?!' 

' _C_ _lose, very close!_ ' The demon bent down so that his face was on the same level as the human's. He gave him a mischevious grin that sent shivers down Jack's spine. 

'T-then what is it?!'

' _Ooh, desperate, are we?_ ' Anti laughed, and stretched his hand out to mess with Jack's hair. The Irishman ducked a bit, shuddering at the touch. No matter how gentle the gestures would be, he  was terrified  of the monster looming over him. 

'S-stop teasing me… And  just  say it!' 

' _Well…_ ' the demon kept petting Jack's head, pretending he was like a pet. It was pretty close for him, but he preferred the term 'toy'. There was one significant difference. A pet could fight back. 

' _You could give up on your life yourself.'_

A toy couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything coherent to say about this chapter, other than the fact that I NAILED that calculus exam! There are four more waiting for me though, so no promises if there will be an update tomorrow.  
> As usual, leave kudos and a comment! Helps me out and brigthens my day :)


	24. Humiliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the prompt is pretty obvious and self-explainatory... haha...  
> SHAMELESS SMUT INCOMING

'W-what?!' Jack was usually a loud person but when he screeched, he made even the demon cringe.

' _I suppose it will take some time to convince you… But doesn't that sound like a good solution?_ ' Anti's hand in the human's hair curled into a fist and he yanked him forward so that their faces got closer.

'Like hell it does!' the Irishman tried to kick the demon away, but the other hand found its way to his knee and pinned his leg down. Again, he quickly realised that trashing around won't help him due to the difference in strength between them. Jack cursed his powerlessness in the dream realm.

' _Of course you won't agree with me now… You never did._ ' Anti murmured, leaning in so that their foreheads were touching. ' _But I'm up for the challenge, you know? The first step is… to break your defenses down.'_

'Get away from me, you monster…' Jack growled though the pain in his body kept him from any harsh actions.

' _Fiesty…_ ' Anti ignored the glare the Irishman was giving him and kissed him. ' _I like it._ ' Without waiting for Jack to react he started nibbling and sucking his lips. Meanwhile, his arm travelled up the human's thigh, spreading his legs. The demon moved even closer and pushed his knee forward, rubbing it against the other's crotch. As an involuntary moan escaped Jack's mouth, Anti bit down his bottom lip with his fangs, drawing a surprised cry from the human. ' _You need to realise the choice isn't yours anymore._ ' The creature went on to place soft kisses on Jack's neck. _'This life… Isn't just yours_.' He was being cryptic on purpose, wanting to draw the Irishman's attention to his words.

'F-fuck, stop, stop…!' Jack cried out again as the demon bit down, his sharp teeth puncturing his skin with ease. The friction wasn't helping his case either, and his yelps were mixed with sounds of pleasure. 'A-anything but this…'

' _What, this?'_ Anti grinned and his hand quickly found its way to the Irishman's zipper, undoing it and slipping his hand into Jack's pants. The human gasped as the demon was now touching his half-hard cock through the thin fabric of his boxers. ' _Not liking touching yourself?'_

Anti's words send shivers down Jack's spine, filling him both with arousal and disgust. He was ashamed of the fact that he couldn't stop enjoying those moments. 'Dammit, fuck… N-no, no, please…' He closed his eyes, his breath becoming more erratic. The demon's only response was more kisses and love bites as well as fondling his erection.

'Please _what?'_ Anti just kept smiling. ' _I need you to finish your begging, otherwise, I won't know just how much you're enjoying this._ ' His hand that was holding Jack's head in place up until now released his hair and he moved it to grab Jack's own hand. He raised it to the human's mouth and shoved two fingers into his mouth. He pushed them way too deep and Jack's natural gagging reflexes started acting up before the demon spoke. **_'Now suck_**.' Something about his voice sounded different in that moment, and Jack found himself unable to disobey, moaning around his own fingers.

He realised that he hadn't used his hands nearly at all, his right one just laying beside him. The demon knew what was on his mind instantly, and purred. ' _You don't want to just sit back so idly, do you? Why don't you…_ ' He raised his head so that his lips brushed against Jack's ear. ' _Play with your nipples? That hand of yours is just itching for it, isn't it?'_ Anti's voice was too suggestive to resist and the human didn't hesitate to follow his order. While he sucked his fingers of his left hand he slid the other under his shirt and rubbed his chest, pinching one of his nipples. It felt so damn good yet was too wrong. A pink blush was all over his face and neck, a feeling of humiliation and pleasure mixing up. More shameless moans escaped his throat, though the noises were slightly muffled through his hand.

Anti was pleased with the sight in front of him, and he yanked Jack's pants and boxers down. When the cool air hit the human's hard cock it twitched in anticipation. The demon cackled and reached for Jack's left hand to pull it out from his mouth. ' _Good, good. Now put those fingers to an even better use._ ' He didn't have to say it outright, the Irishman knew what to do. Stuck in the daze of listening to Anti's suggestions he pushed one of the saliva-covered fingers inside himself. He moaned loudly and arched his back, it felt amazing. Without hesitating, he put the second digit in, and although it hurt, he panted with excitement.

The demon loved to see how the human was ready to wreck himself if he said so. But that would be just too easy, and he wanted more. He wrapped his hand around Jack's aching dick and started jerking him off. The sudden touch and rapid movements drew out even more loud moans and cries of pleasure from the Irishman, but neither stopped. 'It must feel so good, doesn't it?' Anti asked, squeezing Jack's cock a bit tighter.

'F-fuck… Y-yes, yes! Oh… oh god…' Jack was long gone in the pleasure, barely being able to pay attention to the demon's words.

' _Are you close?_ ' Anti hummed, looking at the human squirming under him. He could feel the climax building up.

'Mmngh, y-ye… Oh… Oh man, I'm gonna…!'

The Irishman was about to come when the hand around his dick disappeared. The touch was gone in an instant, and his own hands were pulled away from him. He whimpered loudly and opened his eyes, the denial of orgasm annoying him. But as he looked at the demon, he noticed the glowing green eyes staring at him intensely. His hands got pinned by his sides, and Anti bared his teeth in a feral, bloodthirsty sneer.

' _You've gotta beg for it. Say that you belong to me.'_

'W-what?' Jack shrieked, though his mind was clouded with the pleasure, and he couldn't think about it while his cock throbbed for attention.

' _Just say it, and I'll reward you_.' The demon was close to him before, but now it felt that he somehow got even closer, breaking something past the personal space.

'… Please, just… Let me finish…'

' _Say it, Jack._ ' The long claw-like nails that held his wrists in place started to dig into his skin. Anti wasn't playing a patient one, not now.

'Okay, okay, I'm yours! Please!'

' _My name, Jack_.' The demon scowled, annoyed by the fact that the human still didn't remember how his deals worked.

'I'm yours, Anti!' Jack pleaded, begging for release.

' _Whose?_ ' One hand let his wrists go, and quickly found its way back to Jack's cock.

'Yours! All yours, Anti!'

And when Jack came with the demon's name on his lips, Anti couldn't be more pleased with his victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest I didn't even re-read this sin I should be ashamed of myself. Well, I am.  
> Enjoy reading it :v


	25. Deception

Jack didn't say anything when he woke up. He didn't feel like commenting the fact that he woke up on the bathroom floor, or that he didn't have his pants on. He knew that even the smallest thought could give Anti ideas. The Irishman settled on taking a quick bath. Warm water would always feel good on his skin, especially after the latest happenings. It was hard to keep his mind clear of all thoughts, so he tried focusing on the nice feeling. Sadly, he was soon denied the pleasure.

_Do you still think I can't hear all your thoughts?_

Jack groaned at the glitchy voice in his head and got out of the bathtub. So much for a moment of silence. 

_Trust me, you're much more annoying to me than I am to you._

The Irishman ignored the demon and left the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to his bedroom to grab some clean clothes. As he was putting on a T-shirt, the voice spoke up again.

_But there is one thing I'm curious about despite all my hatred, you know?_

Jack shuddered. Anti being curious could never mean anything good for him. He decided it was a good moment for intervention, even if he'd regret that later.

'I don't care. Now leave me alone, I have work to do. Some people actually do have a life and they would appreciate it if no stupid demon kept interrupting them.'

Anti burst out with laughter, filling Jack's head with his high-pitched, distorted giggles.

 _You can't be serious right now! You're barely keeping yourself together, and yet you insist on making videos?_ The demon's voice was so loud it caused ringing in the Irishman's ears. _What for? Because you feel like you need to keep pretending you're okay?_

'…Maybe I do,' Jack muttered. He knew he didn't have a proper answer. And he swallowed hard when he realised that Anti knew as well. 

_Jeez, aren't you a hopeless one, Jackaboy._ The amusement in the demon's voice was clear. _What is it, that still motivates you? Seeking attention?_

The green-haired man shook his head. He didn't have to do that, yet over the time talking with a voice in his head became something like regular conversations and he started treating them that way. 

'I was never one for attention. I actually hate it, so many people do so much stuff for me every single day and I...'

 _... You don't deserve it._ Anti finished, clearly proud of it. Jack only nodded.

 _Yet when I told you, you denied it over and over again._

Both of them went silent for a while, but then the demon shouted. 

_Oh, oh, I know! I've finally broken you, haven't I?_ His voice was enthusiastic like a little kid that'd just found an answer for a complicated question.

'I think we both know that's not the case yet,' the Irishman sighed as he went to his recording room. He didn't even realise what he'd said until Anti pointed it out.

 _Yet? So it means I'm close_! The demon's giggle was too loud again and made Jack wince. _Maybe you need someone to tell you to give up?_

The green-haired man pressed the power button on his PC and stared at the black screen in front of him. 'Do I…?'

 _Seems that my efforts aren't enough… alone. But what if someone else told you you're going crazy?_

Anti's train of thought was scaring Jack. 'Stop. Nobody will tell me that because everyone cares about me and my sanity.'

 _Do they now? Then why won't you openly admit it?_

The screen lit up and the Irishman saw his familiar desktop. He had a fanart set as his background image. It was one of his favourite ones and he liked to look at it because it reminded him just how creative his community was. But at that moment it only served as fuel for the doubt that the demon had planted in his mind. 

'Why? Because… Well, I don't want to worry them…'

_No, Jack._

'No?' the Irishman surprised himself with the question. Somehow, he believed the voice in his head.

_You know they don't care. That's why you won't tell them._

Jack closed his eyes. His heartbeat picked up during that conversation and he was becoming more and more nervous. 

_What are you scared of? That all this time you've been secretly trying to rely on millions of strangers that couldn't care less about your life?_

'N-no!' He opened his eyes and decided to check Twitter. He hoped that some kind of interaction with the fans will make the doubts and fears go away.

 _You coward. You lack the resolve for doing this, don't you see?_ At this point, Jack couldn't tell if Anti's voice was triumphant or annoyed or indifferent.

'I don't… I'm doing this for their sake. For their entertainment!' He muttered under his breath, scrolling through his Twitter feed.

 _Well then, if you like to hear their opinion so much…_

The green-haired man felt something like a slight electricity spark in his right hand. He let go of the mouse, frowning at the uncomfortable experience. As he looked back at the screen, he realised something popped up on it. He figured that he must have had clicked on a Tweet by accident. At least until he read its content.

 

"Just give up, dude!"

 

Jack didn't need to read anything else. He didn't have to know that it was referring to a video where he'd been failing at a game. He didn't have to know it was a joke.

Because, according to Anti, that was exactly what he wanted to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? An update?  
> Well, I'm nearly done with the exams... Just have to retake the calculus exam... sigh.  
> In the meantime, I thought that I could go back to Anti being a little sh!t


	26. Freezing

Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to just go out like that, especially during rain. But Jack didn't care. He wasn't sure himself why he left his apartment so suddenly, but he felt the need to run away. His own home was a prison and the voice in his head was a sadistic warden with only one prisoner to torture.

The Irishman was wearing only his Overwatch hoodie, so it got quickly soaked up. Nearly everyone on the street had an umbrella or at least a jacket. Normally Jack would've realised he looks ridiculous, but as he figured during the last days, he was anything but normal. He didn't even bother to pull the hood over his head, so a few wet green hair strands were now obstructing his vision. He didn't care about that either. He wasn't even sure where he was going. His legs were leading them into the unknown.

_If you want me to pity you more, you'll have to meet more cliches, Jack._

And that voice. That mocking, stupid, high-pitched voice that loved to see him suffer because it was the very source of his suffering. The Irishman clenched his jaw, a stir of emotions ready to burst out from his chest. He wanted to keep it all in but with every passing day, it was becoming harder and harder. He'd given up on thinking that it all was way past a normal person's limit. Perhaps he'd passed his own limit a long time ago and simply refused to acknowledge it. Tears ran down his face, but they only mixed with the rain.

_What are you even trying to do right now? You can't run away from me, you know that very well._

The worst thing about the demon was its stubbornness. Jack hated it, absolutely despised it for only one reason. That stubbornness was his own. He shuddered when a thought that he may have something in common with Anti passed his head. Of course, the demon instantly noticed.

_Oh, **you're** scared that you may be like me? You've got it backwards, Jackaboy. _

Jack was somewhere he didn't recognise. Very few people on the street and everything was just grey. Then he realised the rain was pouring even harder than when he left his apartment. He didn't pay attention to that before, but now as he felt the drops hit his skin he started shivering. He was all soaked up and he finally acknowledged the feeling of cold. But once he stopped, his legs refused to walk any further. Just as before they moved on their own accord, they wouldn't budge now. The Irishman sneezed and finally spoke up, being aware of the fact, that he would be talking to himself.

'Backwards? And what are you going to tell me now? That maybe you are scared of me and I'm the bad one here?!'

Anti hummed, taking his time with a response, though it sounded more like static than a melody.

_It was **you** who was trying to change **me.**_

Jack was still trying to understand why he couldn't move his legs, though demon's words were puzzling to him as well.

'And just how exactly? Do I have to say it again, for a hundredth time, that I didn't even know about your existence until recently?'

 _It was exactly because you didn't know about me!_ Anti suddenly raised his voice, and Jack clutched his head when it started to hurt. _My plan was to become a part of your mind, but not like that!_

The Irishman stopped thinking about his dropping body temperature when the pain in his head took over all the other sensations. He fell to his knees and groaned in pain. Nobody even looked at him, and the demon continued.

_I quickly picked up all your annoying habits while studying your memories. More and more kept coming, and I couldn't get through them to your consciousness. Before I realised, I was **you**. I sounded like you, I thought like you, I shared your memories. I even lost my own goddamn appearance! You've seen me! **This is not how I'm supposed to look like, you made me into something else!**_

Anti's voice was getting more and more distorted, changing from Jack's own voice to something that sounded more like squeaks interrupted by dead static.

'I didn't do anything!' The Irishman screamed, he was losing the contact with the real world. The pain and the stinging were the only things keeping him awake because his mind was slowly drifting into nothingness.

 

**_I'm not myself anymore I hate myself I hate you I hate you I hate you_ **

**_You will die I will kill you myself_ **

**_It took me years and all I am is just a pathetic copy of you_ **

**_When I'm done with you there will be no Jack McLoughlin_ **

**_I will erase you_ **

 

Anti felt more real than ever before. Although it was just a being in Jack's mind, he felt like he was circling around his prey, talking in voice seeping with hatred. And in the end, the demon towered over him, and the human was defenseless, at the mercy of the dark entity. He lost any control over his body, the pain and cold pushing his consciousness out. He fell face-first into a puddle of water, losing one of his last battles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids, remember to dress accordingly to weather, don't be like Jack. Hypothermia is a very bad thing.  
> Don't worry (or worry), Jack's not dead. Yet. :)
> 
> also psst I have an idea for septiplier soulmate au would you be interested in reading a fic like that?


	27. Choking

He had no memory of coming back home, but when Jack came to, he was sprawled on his couch in his apartment. He groaned, the pounding head reminding about itself. Then he remembered about the whole walk in the rain and realised he was still wearing wet clothes, though they managed to dry up a little. The Irishman shivered with cold and sneezed.

'Great, just great. All I needed was to catch a cold.'

_All you need to do is die._

Jack nearly jumped off the couch. The demon's voice surprised him since it was so sudden and full of malice.

'Calm down, will you? People don't die from common cold…' He muttered and went to his bedroom. He needed to change, quickly.

_Then you'll just die from something else. I'll make sure of it._

The green-haired man let out a long and tired sigh. He took off the hoodie and T-shirt and opened his closet. 'So no more playing around? You're just going to openly wish me death now, huh?'

_How long can you keep this up? Pretending that you're not breaking apart? That I'm not ruining you from the inside?_

Jack swallowed audibly, picking new, comfortable clothes. He was going to go to sleep because with the way he was exhausted and cold, there was no other option. 'You know everything, huh…?'

Anti snorted. _And you don't know shit. You're not even fighting back anymore. Why bother with this life at this point?_

'I dunno. Maybe I still want to live?' The Irishman retorted sarcastically. 'Now just shut up and let me sleep.'

 _Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you…_ A hint of suspicious happiness in the demon's voice made Jack worry, but he wanted to get proper rest.

He felt guilty that he couldn't do anything productive lately, but it was impossible with the way his life turned into a living nightmare. He had to admit that he was stuck between going through tortures during the day and passing out at night. But now even the day-and-night cycle wasn't right anymore. As he laid down on his bed and pulled the covers over him, he decided to take a quick look at his phone. There were a couple of missed calls from Felix and lots of messages from him, Mark, Bob, Wade and other friends. He knew they were there, worried about him, waiting for him to respond, but he just couldn't bring himself to reply. All that time he'd been putting it off, thinking he could deal with his problems all by himself.

_Didn't that turn out great?_

With a quick swipe of his finger, Jack deleted all of the messages. He promised he would reply to the next ones. He would finally get himself together. Because for some reason he had a feeling it was all coming to an end. It still scared him a bit that he didn't know what kind of ending was awaiting him.

 _I don't even have to force you anymore. How sweet._ Anti still sounded vicious, though he was simply commenting. _You're isolating yourself from your friends, you're disappointing your fans... Soon it'll be over, won't it?_ He ended the sentence with a high-pitched giggle.

The green-haired man closed his eyes. 'Please, just let me… rest. Just this once.'

His breathing was steady, and he focused on the darkness behind his eyelids. It was calming that way, with no noise interrupting the silence. Sometimes he would see small red and orange spots and lines, reminders of distant light sources. Everything turned quiet, and soon his mind was drifting asleep.

Until he saw green. Two light green orbs that appeared amongst the darkness. They glowed and only after they disappeared for a moment and reappeared with blue irises on them did Jack realise those were eyes. _His_ eyes.

He opened his eyes and still saw the pair of sick, venomous orbs staring into his own. He wanted to shout, but something was on his throat. Cold, slim fingers held him down, cutting off his air.

 _'You won't get even a second of rest as long as I'm still here and you're out there.'_ The demon hissed, pressing down even harder.

Jack couldn't move. His body was asleep, and the only thing he could do was to stare back at Anti who was choking him. Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes as he was trying to make pleading noises.

_'There is one thing I could be thankful to you for, after all that you've done to me, though, Jack.'_

The demon wore the type of expression that was hard to read. His eyes were filled with fury and his voice consisted of pure spite, yet his face was anything but angry. His eyebrows were drawn up high and his lips formed a playful smirk. The Irishman thought that this being truly could never be human with so many contradictions between its emotions and appearance. He felt the hands let go of his throat, though still resting on his neck. He took a few deep breaths. Jack quickly realised why Anti did that. He was waiting for him to ask him a question. There was no other choice.

'W-what?' The human croaked, and as soon as he spoke up, the grip on his neck returned just as strong, making him cry again.

_'I used to be so weak. But you've taught be a valuable lesson.'_

The Irishman's horrified expression pleased the demon and seemed to be a sufficient response. He leant down and his voice turned to whispering.

_'I shouldn't hesitate when it comes to killing. Suffering makes me stronger and humans like you weaker and vulnerable.'_

Jack knew what would happen next. His heart would always leap out, conflicted by the feelings it was attacked with. Anti's nails dug into the human's skin and he placed his lips on Jack's. They stayed like this for a while, a silent scream stuck in the Irishman's throat. Before he lost consciousness within the dream, the demon pulled away and muttered.

_'I'm going to keep you.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man... four more chapters! The ending is near...  
> Also, I'm done with the exams! At least, I hope so... Anyways, we're back on "regular" update schedule!


	28. Stranded

'He's… he's right,' when Jack woke up he curled into a ball. His heart was racing and he could barely breathe. The fingers that nearly killed him in sleep were real. He knew they were. He could still feel the bruises on his neck. 'There's just no point… I can't fight him.'

He felt alone and abandoned. Despite having so many friends and millions of faithful fans, he refused to turn to anyone for help. 'Why am I so stubborn…? Why couldn't I just tell anyone?' His eyes started to sting as tears appeared in the corners. He was too broken to care about the fact that he was a grown-up crying in his bed over his problems. 'I'm too weak,' the Irishman ran his hands across his face and stopped as they went into his hair. He clenched his hands into fists, grabbing the green strands. 

Jack sniffled, thinking about any other possible outcome. If only he'd sought help after the voice started talking to him. If only he consulted his hellish nightmares with a psychiatrist. If only…

_If only you had listened._

For that one moment, the Irishman managed to ignore the presence in his head. Yet when the demon spoke up, he got pulled out from the depths of his thoughts. His reaction was immediate.

'Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I'm done with you!' Jack yelled on top of his lungs. His vocal strings were not used to the volume without a proper warm-up and his throat hurt. 'I'm broken, can't you see?! This is what you wanted! So shut up and leave me alone!'

To his surprise, Anti obeyed. The demon didn't say anything else and retreated to the back of his mind. The green-haired man forced a cough to get rid of the itching in his larynx. For the time being, he wanted to just get lost in his thoughts, even if they were destructive.

Jack closed his eyes and warm tears rolled down his cheeks. Crying became something normal for him, and he felt no shame in sobbing loudly. He wished someone would comfort him, yet he was perfectly aware of the fact that he'd cut himself off from the others. As he tightened his arms around his knees, he started rocking himself on the bed. He was shivering, and he didn't even know whether it was from cold or fear. 

'What the hell am I supposed to do now… I don't want to die… But I don't want to live like this either…' His quiet whispers and weeps were the only sounds in the empty room. The Irishman stayed like this for an hour, completely losing the track of time. He cried for as long as there were tears in his eyes. When they dried out he finally let go of his hair. He realised there was no other way. That only one person - thing - could end it. He had the solution whether Jack liked it or not. And at that point, he didn't care how it would end. He only wanted the suffering to end.

The green-haired man slowly got out of his bed, looking around his room. The reddish light seeping in through the windows indicated that it was late afternoon already. He got up and looked at the long shadows all the items around him were casting. He couldn't help but wonder if his own shadow was any different. Sure, it was dark and looked like him - but it was still just a shadow. If he wanted his answers he had to go to the bathroom. 

Jack shambled on his way to the bathroom, his legs felt heavy. Everything ached - his arms, his legs, his head, even his heart. There was no way he would survive it any longer.   
When he looked at the bathroom mirror for a second he thought the demon was messing with his mind again. But after a while, he realised he was seeing his own face. He looked like a complete wreck. He couldn't recognise the person in the mirror. It quickly changed, as he sighed and the figure in the mirror closed its eyes, and when it opened them, they were black and green.

'So this is it, huh? You've won,' Jack's voice was coarse.

Anti did not reply. He simply watched with a sly smile on his face.

'… You… You can speak now. Come on. Tell me how happy you are,' the Irishman had a problem with maintaining the eye contact. He lowered his head, waiting for the demon's response. For his high-pitched giggle. For anything.

_What's the point of me saying something obvious?_

Jack shuddered. Anti sounded so… casual. So normal. Was that really how he was going to end it?

'But you'd like me to say it out loud, wouldn't you?' He swallowed the nervousness rising in his stomach and mustered up the courage to look back into the mirror.

_Are you sure it's not just you who's so desperate to admit it?_

The green-haired man gritted his teeth. Anti knew how to play him oh so well. 

'I lost to your goddamn games, I'm tired enough to say so.'

_You can still try to fight back. I won't mind._

The Irishman lost his nerve. Next time he spoke, his voice got louder, having already recovered from previous shouts.

'I can't! I've tried but I'm just too weak! There, happy to hear that?!'

_I'm already happy to see you on the verge of a mental breakdown, Jackaboy._

'Stop fuckin' around! I give up, Anti! I give up! What else am I supposed to say?! Go ahead and kill me?!'

The demon's name rolled off his tongue so easily. He was so caught up in his own anger that he forgot that saying it had grave consequences. Meanwhile, Anti's smile grew bigger and bigger. When he opened his mouth, a deafening laughter filled Jack's head. 

_I believe you, I do… But you have to prove it to me._

'P-prove?!' The Irishman leant towards the mirror, gripping its ends with his hands. Both his voice and his eyes were filled with desperation. 'What do you want me to prove?!'

_Your defeat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were expecting a happy ending... Well... Let's say it's not going to end too well :)


	29. (No) Choice

_'Wake up, Jack…'_

He couldn't remember passing out. It happened so suddenly when Anti took over and blocked his consciousness. So it was no surprise to the Irishman that when he opened his eyes, he couldn't recognise his surroundings.

He was sitting in a simple chair in an empty room. When he looked around, he realised it wasn't actually a room, but looked more like a warehouse.

'Where the hell am I…?' he asked, rubbing his forehead. There was a faint pounding in his head, but nothing serious.

_'Get up and go to the wall on your right. I'll explain the rules.'_

Something about the demon's voice was… off. Jack didn't hear it in his mind this time. It sounded like it was coming from somewhere else. But because he couldn't quite put his finger on it, he decided to shrug it off.

He got up from the chair and followed Anti's directions. When he focused on the wall, he realised there was a full-length mirror propped up against it.

'Oh heck no. This never ends well,' the Irishman stopped in his tracks before he could see his reflection.

' _I just want you to see something, no need to be afraid,_ ' the demon spoke in a smug tone and then Jack realised what was off. Anti's voice was coming from… his own mouth. He felt his lips move on their own accord and form a smirk. The demon could read his mind perfectly and continued. ' _Oh, looks like you've noticed. I don't need mirrors anymore, Jackaboy.'_

Jack moved towards the reflective surface, a feeling of nervousness rising in his gut. His reflection approached him from behind the glass, and the Irishman gasped at its sight.

'W-what have you done…?!'

Sure, his left eye still looked normal, its iris light blue like it'd been his whole life, but it was the right one that looked all wrong. The sclera was so black no light was visible in it, and the iris had that radioactive green colour Jack was so familiar with already. His hair also looked different. While it started with his vibrant neon green, it slowly faded into a much darker shade at the ends of the strands. Both of his eyes were filled with his fear, but his mouth was smiling slyly.

 _'Well, for this little game that I've prepared I've decided to let you be in control of your body. But just in case you won't cooperate I'm ready to take action. Just like_ _that, see?_ ' Anti crouched and reached to the back of the mirror, trying to find something. Jack felt his own hand grip something cold, and when the demon pulled his arm back, he realised it was a gun.

'W-what the fuck?!' The Irishman yelled. 'Where did you get this?! And again, where the fuck am I?!'

Anti's grip on the handle tightened. He clicked his - Jack's- tongue and sighed. ' _Don't you worry about that. It doesn't matter right now. What matters, however, are those two over there._ ' He turned their body around and pointed at two figures that were kneeling by the opposite wall. Jack hadn't noticed them earlier and freaked out even more when he saw that their hands were tied and they had bags put over their heads.

'Who the fuck are they?! This shit ain't funny, start talking or else-!'

The demon only chuckled and ignored the human's trashing around. He walked towards the figures, playing with the gun in his hand. They were perfectly still, so Jack didn't know if they could even hear him. When he was finally in front of them, he spoke up.

' _The game is simple. Here we have two of your fans,_ ' he motioned over them. Firstly, he pointed at the one on the left. By his physique, Jack figured it was a man. ' _This one has been your subscriber for about two years and a half. This one, on the other hand,_ ' Anti motioned to the figure on the right and it looked like a girl, ' _has decided to subscribe to you barely three months ago. It's all I'm going to tell you about them.'_

'You kidnapped my fans!? Are you fuckin' crazy!?' the Irishman yelled when he was given a bit of control over his vocal chords. 'Why aren't they moving?! What the fuck is that game?! Let them go, you sick fuck!'

The demon got annoyed with the unnecessary questions. ' _Shut up unless you want them dead this instant._ ' he snarled but then cleared his throat to regain his composure. ' _Now, the rules: You have to pick one of them and shoot them. Simple as that. The other one will survive, I'll make sure they can't remember anything afterwards,_ ' he smiled, but it quickly disappeared as it was Jack's turn to speak.

'You're fuckin joking, aren't you?! You want me to kill someone?! What the fuck, no fucking way!' the Irishman kept yelling, but he stopped when his arm moved on its own again. The hand that was holding the gun pointed at the man on the left. Anti disengaged the safety on the weapon and put his finger on the trigger.

 _'The other rule is that if you refuse to make a choice, I'll kill them both,'_ the demon's voice was calm yet hinted with a deadly serious tone. _'So… Choose, Jack.'_

'N-no, you can't! You can't make me choose! I won't kill anyone!' the human kept shouting, he tried to pull his hand back down with his other arm, but it would not budge. The gun was pointing straight at the person's head. 'Y-you're lying, you know I c-can't…'

' _Fine then, those are your last five seconds. And then I'm pulling the trigger.'_

That didn't change anything. Jack would never even think of shooting someone. He hoped the demon was lying and it was all just another sick joke to mess with his head.

But then his finger moved, and the gun fired. The Irishman screamed as the body fell over and the blood stained the bag over their head. Anti was unfazed and moved his arm to point at the other person.

 _'I did tell you I'd have you prove it to me, didn't I?_ ' he felt tears roll down his face. He sighed in irritation, cursing Jack's cowardice and his weak mind. _'If you really gave up, you would've made the choice. And now you'll suffer the consequences of lying to me.'_

'Stop! Stop! No! You've killed one person, isn't that enough!?'

' _… No. But I suppose there is one way you can stop me from killing the other,'_ Anti grinned, feeling Jack's despair.

'Anything, I'll do anything! Just don't kill them!'

' _Then admit that you meant it. That it wasn't me who killed that person, but you.'_

'W-what?!' Jack's voice broke down from too much yelling. 'T-that's insane! I can't just-' he stopped when he heard another click. The gun was ready to fire again.

' _I won't be satisfied until you break down completely. Until you obey me. Until you beg me to destroy you,_ ' the demon gritted his sharp teeth. ' _I'll kill another pair of people if I have to. I'll keep killing more and more and only you can stop me. Do. You. Understand?'_

Jack knew Anti meant it. That the demon meant every single word he said. And that he would know if Jack spoke insincerely. He truly had to admit to wishing someone's death. He cried more, hot tears rolling down his cheeks and broken sobs escaping his throat. He stared at the girl in front of him and thought about the dead body next to her. He didn't want to. If he could refuse, he would do it instantly. But he had no choice.

_'So which will it be, Jack?'_

'… Yeah. It… it was me who pulled the trigger,' his voice was quiet and full of hate towards himself. 'I did it on purpose.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... The next chapter may be even less happy... Woo-hoo...  
> I can't believe it's nearly the end...


	30. Separation or Abandonment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well crap, I had other plans for this chapter but then changed my mind. So it's not as bad as I promised.

_'How does it feel to kill someone?'_

Jack was in that black lifeless void again that Anti called sarcastically his "home". He felt like something was weighing him down, forcing to sit on the invisible ground. He also had a feeling as if someone had already asked him that question before.

'You... You made me do it. How am I supposed to feel?' he choked on his own words.

' _Good, because I say so._ ' Anti materialised behind Jack and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his lap. He rested his head on the human's shoulder and purred into his ear.

Jack hated this but there wasn't much he could do himself. While it looked like a gentle hug, the demon had a steel strong grip on him, and Jack couldn't move his arms. 

' _You still hate me. But that's okay, I love you anyway,_ ' the demon's voice was barely above a whisper.

'I thought you hated me.'

' _I can do both,_ ' Anti placed a kiss on his neck. _'I may hate you as a separate being but you're my toy and I love playing with you.'_

Jack sighed and leant back. If he tried to forget everything, it could be nice, comforting even. But a low chuckle from the figure from behind him quickly dispersed the illusion.

 _'Your thoughts are as loud as you speaking. Or should I say, it doesn't matter if you talk or think here, it's all the same for me_ ,' Anti tightened his embrace, his slim fingers ghosting over Jack's hips. ' _So you can give up on trying to hide anything from me here, sweetie.'_

The Irishman wanted to gag at the name Anti called him. '... I won't admit that it's comfortable. You've got me anyway, so it doesn't matter what I think, does it?'

' _Aww, but why lie to yourself? It would be better for the both of us..._ ' Anti smirked, placing another soft kiss on Jack's neck, _'... If you liked me back.'_

'Go to hell,' Jack mumbled.

 _'Not without you,_ ' the demon retorted.  ' _I think it's time I showed you something.'_

And with that, he was pulled back from the depths of his mind to consciousness. When the Irishman opened his eyes, he realised he was sitting on his bed with his phone in his hand. The black screen reflected his face and he noticed his double coloured eyes. 

'Is this going to be like that from now on?' he asked, looking away from the device because staring at the dark eye unsettled him.

' _Hmm... Depends on how you're going to... react,_ ' Anti smiled slyly.

'React to what?' the green-haired man asked and his fingers moved on their own, unlocking the phone's screen. 

' _While you were relaxing in my arms I was quite busy. It took me some time to convince all of them,'_ the demon sounded proud of himself and it only unnerved Jack even more.

'What the hell did you-' he looked at the screen and realised he had several unread messages. Most of them were on Skype, and he noticed those were all from his friends. Again. But as he looked through the conversations he realised something was off. The first one was with Felix, so he decided to read it first. Or at least look at the last messages.

 

"I thought we were friends, bro."  
"But okay I get it"  
"You're an asshole who was just pretending to be nice."  
"Have fun on your own motherfucker."

 

He tried to send a message to his Swedish friend. But it didn't get delivered. He realised Felix blocked him.

'Wh-what?' Jack felt tears forming in his eyes. He scrolled up through the conversation and realised that Anti had been conversing with him.

 

 _"dude just fuck off im fine"_  
_"leave me alone you moron"_  
_"dont you have a girlfriend to take care of stop messaging me"_

 

'Y-you were talking with my friends?!' Jack yelled and the only response he got was his fingers opening a new conversation. This time it was Mark. And again, after hundreds of messages full of concerns from his American friend and insults from himself, the last ones that he had yet to read were heartbreaking.

 

"I thought I knew you, Jack. We were really worried."  
"Guess I was wrong. Sorry, I wasted your time trying to be your friend."  
"So goodbye, I won't bother you anymore."

 

' _Your memories and knowledge about your friends proved to be quite useful.'_

'H-how dare you impersonate me... A-and talk to my friends like that?!' the Irishman screamed, reading another conversation.

_'Don't think it was quick. I had to waste a lot of time on each one of them.'_

'T-then for how long have I been out?!'

Anti didn't reply. But he kept smiling.

'I-I have to fix this...' Jack scrambled to look through more conversations, and all of them ended the same. With his friends blocking him and severing ties. 'Did they not see that wasn't me?!' he cried out.

' _I am a part of you. So they recognised you in me. And in the end, believed me_.' Anti's grin grew bigger and bigger.

'N-no... No! Do you have to take everything away from me?!' the green-haired man couldn't stop the tears now. He knew it was partially his fault for neglecting his friends lately, but he never wanted to lose them.

 _'You have to see that you don't need those things. Let them go so that I can take over your life._ '

'No... I... I...' Jack felt conflicted. And Anti had fun with adding more fuel to the fire.

' _If they really were your friends they would've realised they weren't talking to you, right?'_

But the Irishman saw it in the conversations. His friends did refuse to believe it was him. But Anti found his way around everyone. He even found a picture in the conversation with Bob. His friend suspected that someone stole his phone and asked for some proof. And there it was: Jack glaring at the camera with his middle finger up. He shuddered because no matter how he looked at the picture, it was him. His eyes were icy blue, his hair neon green... 

'Y-you took care of everything, didn't you?' Jack whispered.

And then his phone buzzed in his hands. Someone was calling him. When Jack saw the name of the caller, his heart nearly stopped beating. The screen displayed one short word:

**Ma**

' _Oh... That's right, there's also your family to mess around with!_ ' Anti laughed maniacally, feeling Jack's dread through their shared consciousness. 

'No. Nonono. Don't. You. Dare. Anyone but them,' Jack tried to put his best defenses up.

' _Then are you going to pick up that call?'_

Jack wasn't sure. But his finger was hovering over the green button and he knew that if he hesitated there was no telling which voice would speak up. He couldn't risk it, so he declined the call.

'… L-listen… If I…' he couldn't believe he was going to say it, but he saw no other option. If he wanted to save his family, he had to make a deal with the demon.

 _'Yes, I'm listening,_ ' Anti quickly caught up on what Jack was thinking.

'If I… Let you do whatever you want… Will you promise not to hurt my family? Don't talk to them, just… don't,' the green-haired man's voice broke down mid-sentence.

 _'Are you finally admitting you've given up, that you can't fight me?_ ' the demon grinned wider than any human should and Jack felt his face hurt from being too stretched. ' _You humans love your empty promises. You know that I can agree to whatever you want through simple lies, right?'_

The Irishman put the phone away and hid his face in his hands. Anti was right. Jack had no way of knowing if he'd keep his promise.

' _But I suppose I could leave them alone for now… If you listen to me.'_

'W-what am I supposed to do now?' Jack looked up, and his gaze wandered off to his bedroom door. It was open, and he could see the kitchen at the back of his apartment from where he was sitting.

 _'I think you know it already,_ ' Anti said, finishing with a giggle. _'I'll be waiting on the other side~!'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for the big finale? I'll take this chance to thank everyone who supported this story in any way! Be it comments, kudos, or simply reading. Seeing those numbers makes me crazy because I cannot believe so many people enjoy it!


	31. Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small warning: A change of POV in this chapter! It's finally time to look at the world through Anti's eyes! :D

It's almost funny how he still thinks those thoughts are his. That he's in complete control, that it's him who wants to end it all. So I say nothing and watch as to my enjoyment he gets the knife from his kitchen and makes his way to the bathroom. Sure, I said I'd be waiting. But that doesn't mean I'm going to just greet him in the mirror. It's what he wants, and he's not going to get it. 

Jack looks so unnerved when his own ocean blue eyes stare back at him. He tilts his head to the side, and I hear his thoughts buzzing, questions popping up in his mind. He wants to ask where I am. But I'm here, I'm also there. I'm _everywhere_ at this point. And I don't answer, letting him talk to himself. The confusion settles in as he looks down at the knife in his hand. 

'… Is this really what I want?' he asks with that pitiful expression that makes me want to strangle him with his own hands. I hate to see any sign of weakness on a face that soon I'll be wearing. And I can't have him questioning his choices. I want to snort at that thought. _His_ , as if he had one to begin with. Manipulating his emotions is a child's play at this point. I don't even have to speak. I don't have to move his body. Because Jack will do it himself. He shakes his head after a moment of convincing and tightens his grip on the blade. 

One moment it's down there, the next it's sunk deep in his throat, slightly above the collarbones. His head falls back, his arms go limp. Yes, exactly what I wanted. What _he_ wanted, right? 

To die. Disappear. Cease to exist.

_Be mine._

And with that, it's done. I roll his - my head now down and grab the knife. Sure, it hurts like hell when I pull it out, but I'm not a weakling like him. I could never pass out from such intense pain, it just feels too good. My hands are soaked in blood, it's still seeping from the wound. I suppose I'll have to do something about that, but for now, I take in this marvellous sight in front of me. Finally, finally, I can look into the mirror in the real world and see _myself_. Well, or at least my version of this body. I still look like him, the black and green eyes the only remnants of my true appearance. I stare at my reflection and smile. It's the very first time I've achieved permanent full body possession. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to be in power with nobody to take it away from you. But some words float from the back of our mind.

_Terrifying._   
_Horrible._   
_Sick._

It's not like I can't shut him out. If I wanted to, I could silence him for the eternity with a snap of my fingers. But I want him to watch as I use his own body, his own identity to ruin everything. I want him to scream, cry, beg, do all the things humans do in the moments of desperation. And above all else I want him to experience that crushing feeling of helplessness in the confinement of his own mind. It will take him some time but he'll understand that there is no way for him to regain control. Not when I'm here. He will try to claw back from the depths of this mind, but the shackles I've put him in are too strong for his weak soul. So I will keep taunting and mocking him, enjoying his broken pleas. Because for every second he suffers I feel even more alive. 

I get lost in this pleasurable feeling, and life starts to seep out of this mortal body. Now that I'm in full control, I'll have to take care of it. Complete all those mundane tasks of eating, sleeping and tending to wounds. I've seen humans do it for centuries, it's not that hard. Just boring. So I get Jack's attention and tell him to keep track of it all for me. Of course, he listens like an obedient dog on a leash. I may as well use him to the fullest by giving him a false feeling of purpose for his pitiful existence.

I get some bandages from the cabinet next to the mirror and sloppily wrap them around my neck. Blood soaks them all, and Jack nags me to keep doing that. How cumbersome. He suggests going to the hospital and it takes all my willpower not to slam him back into the void where I wouldn't hear him. I am not getting any help. I won't have _anyone_ touch this body. 

At last, I manage to stop the bleeding, though the shirt is soaked red and this whole body reeks of blood. I lick it off the fingers and think how wonderful it tastes on my tongue. Blood has that special taste that nothing can replace. I look down at the knife I'd put in the sink and another evil thought pops up in my mind. Oh, how I want to enjoy mutilating this body by plunging the blade into it over and over again… But it has to wait. This body is weak. Too weak for my enjoyment, it cannot sustain too many injuries. So I simply turn the water on and wash the remains of the blood from my hands. The knife will stay here, it may come in handy later.

I leave and think about all the new possibilities that are open before me now. A whole body in my control and nobody to stop me. A thrill of excitement runs through my body and I smile. So that's how it must feel for all those upper echelon demons. But then again, it may be just my own reaction, since I'd never be able to achieve so much by myself. It's funny how much I owe to this foolish human. Perhaps I should be thankful for those years of ignorance because if we made a deal back then, I'd never have grown so powerful. Reducing him into this blabbering, hopeless mess wouldn't feel so satisfying otherwise.

Something catches my eye. A blinking light in one of the rooms. I recognise it as Jack's recording room and my whole face lights up. Of course, there are _millions_ of people out there at my mercy now. The human in our mind grows restless when I enter this place. His computer is still on, an unfinished video waiting to be edited. He's run out of the queued-up videos and tried to make some in those last days. I suppose I could do him this favour as I sit down. I've seen him do it hundreds of times, it's simple, really. But as I rewatch it, I think it's missing something. I grin and hit the "record" button on his camera.

 

 

The video is up the next day. Everything looks normal, and all of Jack's subscribers rush to watch it as soon as it pops up in their subscription box. They all sigh in relief in unison all around the world at the sight of their favourite Irishman. He's playing some silly game which rules consist purely of mindless zombie killing. Jack looks like he's having so much fun despite the exhaustion lingering on his face. It seems to be a permanent thing now and no amount of concerned comments can change that. He's pushing his own well-being aside for his fans and some of his subscribers appreciate that, while others want him to take a break. 

Yet something's off. The video is nearly over and the YouTuber does his energetic outro. His eyes don't reflect the energy that he tries so hard to express through his voice. It's too obvious it's gone, and yet there he is, yelling into the microphone.

But suddenly, as he says 'Thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes…' the screen glitches. For a moment his face disappears from the view, and his voice erupts into deafening static. It's enough to make everyone jump back in surprise. Then he's back, but not quite himself. The light is out, and you can barely make anything out on the screen. 

He's staring into the camera, and his eyes flash dangerously. The calm blue flickers and fades into neon green. He smiles, his teeth sharper than they should be, and there's too much red on the screen. As he takes a breath, it sounds wrong, all wrong. Not like a person, but like a virus that distorts everything around it. And he finally speaks. Finishes the thought.

'I will see you all…

**_Never again.'_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we end this fic! I've gotta admit, I'm so proud of myself for not only finishing it, but also being able to keep writing it without losing track of the theme and general feel of it. I don't know what I'd do without the support from all of you! All the comments and kudos meant more to me than you could imagine!  
> But I also wanted to thank my friend Patryk for not only saving my ass a couple of times when I'd get stuck with a particular prompt but also reading some of the chapters despite not understanding English that well, haha. I don't think this work would be as good without his help and suggestions.  
> Feel free to leave a comment even now after reading the whole story, it always makes me happy to see your response!  
> I'll probably take a few days of break and start writing that soulmate au fic then :)


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